Talk:Russian to Conclusions - Revision history

WolfyDrake95 at 15:06, 22 June 2009

2009-06-22T15:06:57Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:06, 22 June 2009
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	Ah, yes the laser. I mention that the Detective tried to destroy the remains of the laser. Someone (like, the government) could have tried putting it back together. (Though the rules of Xanadu would likely mean failure.) It is the worlds most powerful weopon. And I may re-write this. Thomas is my self insert character. I do this really cheesy fake Russian accent (with crazy commie personality) for fun. The idea of the story is what would happen it that personality ended up at Xanadu. Like I said, fun story to write, not the best written.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 15:01, 22 June 2009 (UTC)		Ah, yes the laser. I mention that the Detective tried to destroy the remains of the laser. Someone (like, the government) could have tried putting it back together. (Though the rules of Xanadu would likely mean failure.) It is the worlds most powerful weopon. And I may re-write this. Thomas is my self insert character. I do this really cheesy fake Russian accent (with crazy commie personality) for fun. The idea of the story is what would happen it that personality ended up at Xanadu. Like I said, fun story to write, not the best written.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 15:01, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

	;Agreed. Some parts are hilarious, like when Det. Brown mouths "Oh my God" to the one way mirror and things like that. Cool story. --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]] 23:05, 22 June 2009		:Agreed. Some parts are hilarious, like when Det. Brown mouths "Oh my God" to the one way mirror and things like that. Cool story. --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]] 23:05, 22 June 2009

WolfyDrake95 at 15:06, 22 June 2009

2009-06-22T15:06:31Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:06, 22 June 2009
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	Ah, yes the laser. I mention that the Detective tried to destroy the remains of the laser. Someone (like, the government) could have tried putting it back together. (Though the rules of Xanadu would likely mean failure.) It is the worlds most powerful weopon. And I may re-write this. Thomas is my self insert character. I do this really cheesy fake Russian accent (with crazy commie personality) for fun. The idea of the story is what would happen it that personality ended up at Xanadu. Like I said, fun story to write, not the best written.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 15:01, 22 June 2009 (UTC)		Ah, yes the laser. I mention that the Detective tried to destroy the remains of the laser. Someone (like, the government) could have tried putting it back together. (Though the rules of Xanadu would likely mean failure.) It is the worlds most powerful weopon. And I may re-write this. Thomas is my self insert character. I do this really cheesy fake Russian accent (with crazy commie personality) for fun. The idea of the story is what would happen it that personality ended up at Xanadu. Like I said, fun story to write, not the best written.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 15:01, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

			;Agreed. Some parts are hilarious, like when Det. Brown mouths "Oh my God" to the one way mirror and things like that. Cool story. --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]] 23:05, 22 June 2009

Guvnor Of Space at 15:01, 22 June 2009

2009-06-22T15:01:41Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:01, 22 June 2009
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	:The difference is that the first is telling, the second is describing. Your story is excellent. I feel that if you switched from "transcript" format to "narrative and descriptive", which is the norm for writing, this story would be even better. But still, great job! --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]], 22:44, 22 June 2009		:The difference is that the first is telling, the second is describing. Your story is excellent. I feel that if you switched from "transcript" format to "narrative and descriptive", which is the norm for writing, this story would be even better. But still, great job! --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]], 22:44, 22 June 2009

			Ah, yes the laser. I mention that the Detective tried to destroy the remains of the laser. Someone (like, the government) could have tried putting it back together. (Though the rules of Xanadu would likely mean failure.) It is the worlds most powerful weopon. And I may re-write this. Thomas is my self insert character. I do this really cheesy fake Russian accent (with crazy commie personality) for fun. The idea of the story is what would happen it that personality ended up at Xanadu. Like I said, fun story to write, not the best written.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 15:01, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

WolfyDrake95 at 14:46, 22 June 2009

2009-06-22T14:46:35Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:46, 22 June 2009
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	I know the "story" itelf kind of sucks, but I would like comments on what people thought of the format.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 03:24, 22 June 2009 (UTC)		I know the "story" itelf kind of sucks, but I would like comments on what people thought of the format.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space\|Guvnor Of Space]] 03:24, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

			:The story is great...the mental change expressed very well. The continuous fluctuation between the two personalities, Thomas and Yuri, is excellent. The only thing I don't understand is that the Detective comments that Thomas/Yuri destroyed the Julius Romberg laser already...then at the end it is said that he was fired because he tried to destroy the Julius Romberg laser. That seems to be conflicting.

			:And as for the format...it is okay, I guess. But doing a narrative one would be better because then you could describe the scene better than just putting descriptions in brackets. For example...

			:Instead of ''(looks up with fierce look in his eyes)'', you could say ''But then Thomas looked up at the Detective, and the Detective glimpsed a renewed fire burning in his eyes''.

			:The difference is that the first is telling, the second is describing. Your story is excellent. I feel that if you switched from "transcript" format to "narrative and descriptive", which is the norm for writing, this story would be even better. But still, great job! --[[User:WolfyDrake95\|Drake]], 22:44, 22 June 2009

Guvnor Of Space: Created page with 'I know the "story" itelf kind of sucks, but I would like comments on what people thought of the format.--~~~~'

2009-06-22T03:24:21Z

Created page with 'I know the "story" itelf kind of sucks, but I would like comments on what people thought of the format.--~~~~'

New page

I know the "story" itelf kind of sucks, but I would like comments on what people thought of the format.--[[User:Guvnor Of Space|Guvnor Of Space]] 03:24, 22 June 2009 (UTC)