User:Arrow Quivershaft/Cerberus
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{{#ifeq: User |User| Cerberus | Arrow Quivershaft/Cerberus}}[[Title::{{#ifeq: User |User| Cerberus | Arrow Quivershaft/Cerberus}}| ]]
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Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}]] [[Author::{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}| ]]
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Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}]] [[Author::{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}| ]]
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Authors: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}]]
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Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | {{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Arrow Quivershaft | }}]]
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It was a rough descent, but with some solid teamwork between me, Timmy, and Blossom, we got down. Not without a few scratches and such, but we made it in one piece. All of the injuries were minor. After patching everyone up, taking a short rest, and getting our packs again, we started our approach to the castle itself.
The bowl was surprisingly barren as we walked through it. I got the idea that it was a blast crater, but the bowl was just...empty. No animals, no burrows, no plants. It was like the idea of life itself hated this place. Even the twisted plants and animals of the underworld refused to live here. We followed the riverbank towards the castle. As we approached it, we saw that only one bank was allowed into the castle, the rest of the entrance eaten up by by the river. And on the bank we could traverse, there was a single cerberus.
It wasn’t what I’d expected. It had a rather wide, squat body, kinda like a pit bull. But it was rather less canine than I’d expected. The three heads were there, but it had a mishmash of fur, spines and scales. It looked like it was napping. Good. Maybe we could sneak past it, because it was about the size of a rhino, based on what I could see as we approached.
"What the hell is that?" Alex said as he spotted it.
"A cerberus." I said. The rumor about being eaten by one came back to my mind. Hopefully I wouldn’t find out firsthand.
"Doggie nappin' is probably a good thing." Timmy said.
"Lets go around it..." Alex suggested.
"Probably the best choice, yeah." I agreed.
"It is best to let sleeping dogs lie..." Blossom added.
I nodded, as we started that way. Getting a look into the corridor past the cerberus, it became obvious that Dawn and Alex would be grounded from here on out. One of the cerberus’s heads lifted slowly and started to regard us as we approached. Fuck, it hadn’t been asleep at all. It sighed, then hauled itself to its feet, speaking in Greek to rouse the other two heads that were sleeping.
"Aw fuck." Alex hissed. It seemed to be a sentiment shared by all of us as we approached. I gripped my crossbow a bit tighter as we closed in, but kept it down.
"Who's a good doggie, yes you are, yeees you are." Timmy said, seemingly seriously.
"I doubts that patronizing it will help." Alex told him.
"I do not think this is an ordinary dog." Blossom said with a shake of her head.
"Ah... Yeah... What's Plan A, fellas?" Dawn asked.
"I'd vote running like hell.” Alex responded to Dawn.
"Plan A is hope it doesn't mind us. B is fight, we need to go through." I said.
"Ah, yes ..." Alex said unenthusiastically.
Dawn took up the rear of our group as we approached. I was in front with Alex and Timmy and Blossom were behind me. The cerberus just waited for us, eyeing us with all of it’s heads.
As we approached, Alex tentatively waved a wing. "Euh, hello. Good ... evening."
Blossom approached closer, passing between me and Alex. When she was a few feet away from him, she bowed. "Greetings." she said to him.
The three heads ducked once in a slight response to the bow, and then came back up. The center looked at Blossom, then at the rest of us. “"Yeah, you know how this works. Blah blah blah, guardian of underdark. What do you want?" Well, he at least was direct...
"To pick up a f-" Alex said, before he was cut off by Blossom.
"I want to see Hades." Blossom said. Oh gods, was she going to try and be the diplomat again? I winced.
"Yyyyyyeah... Go home." the center head said to us.
Blossom shook her head. "We can't, we know of your problem, and have come to help." she stated.
I eyed her. So did Alex. She seemed to have some sort of plan, which I could...at least give her more credit for. I didn’t want a fight, so I let her talk for the moment. Still, I wish she’d keep her damn mouth shut, she’s not that gifted a speaker.
"I don't have a problem. Seriously, go home." The left head said.
"Can't do that, look lets be specific." Timmy said. Oh gods. "There's a dude we wanna get back to the surface, kinda important fellow."
"Not you, specifically Hades does, with one soul that can't be decided." Blossom said, nodding.
"Blossom, please." Alex hissed. At someone agreed with me.
"That isn't my problem or yours." the left and right head said in unison.
"It's not a problem, so whatever we want the kid anyway." Timmy said.
Blossom glared back at Alex, but said nothing. She turned back to the cerberus and said, "Yes, we want to take him away from here."
"Look... I'm not trying to be a dink, I'm trying to save you from your own best intentions. You go in here, you get your ass handed to you. I'm here for /your/ protection." The Cerberus said. I was at least grateful for his patience.
"We appreciate that, but I’m not leaving without my friend." Blossom said, crossing her arms.
"Thanks for the thought but we're pretty determined.” Timmy said. “Kid has a life to live, friends back home...yadda yadda."
"He's not quite dead you see." Alex chimed in.
"Ain't my job to decide who dies. It /is/ my job to keep brass-balled questing parties topside." the right head commented with an eyeroll.
"We're here to correct an error, not take some soul or decide who is dead." Alex said.
"Just go away, alright? Nobody has ever raised the dead. Ever. You're wasting your time." the left head commented.
"He ain't dead dead, body is still comatose." Timmy added.
Great. So I had three people talking to the monster, and none of them were me. I looked at Dawn helplessly. She shrugged back at me, but there was no good way for me to get into the conversation this late.
"That's great... Seriously, go away." the three heads said in unison.
"Ain't going away." Timmy said.
"What if we told you we know where he goes?" Blossom said inquisitively.
"Holy shit, this is why I hate this job." the center head exclaimed.
"Yer tellin' me right, get paid to do this. It'd make it easier if you let us do our job too." Timmy said.
"Yeah? And how are you going to make it worth my while?" the left head said incredulously.
"What would you want?" Blossom asked, sincerely.
"What've you got?" the thing asked
There was an in for me. "Food, money." I said.
"Don't need money, have plenty of food. Fuck off." It growled at me.
"Name something you want then." Blossom said, tail swishing impatiently.
"I want you to go back /home/." the monster snarled.
"We will do that, but with Nick as well." Blossom stated.
"Yeah. Great. Go." the thing said with a sigh.
"We need to pass you to get Nick." I said, trying to be the voice of reason.
"Holy shit you people are dense." the right head said, a paw reaching up to effectively facepalm. Great. So there was no way through.
"Not without our condition bein' met...trust us we want nothin' more then to go home too." Timmy said,
Blossom walked up, right to the front of the cerberus, glaring up at it. One of the heads glared back, another watching the group, and the third still facepalmed. I was worried. If it decided to attack her, there was nothing I could do with her that close.
"Just go. I know you love your guy, but you won't get him back. Just /go/." the cerberus said forcefully.
"I love him too much to leave him here." Blossom retorted.
"So did the last folks, and the group before, and the group before...You /really/ want to fuck with the core forces of life and death, eh?"
"I am different, I would die for him gladly even trade myself for him." Blossom growled back. "Yes!"
"This castle-thing needs a fucking door. A great big locking fucking door." the right head, said, the paw finally coming back down. A part of me couldn’t help but agree, despite how much of a problem it would’ve been for us.
"Then you would have no job." Blossom stated, like that made any difference.
"See this? This is what I get for trying to be decent. I could do the snarling and attacking and everything, and instead I /try/ to send you back, and this is what happens." the center head said.
"I really do appreciate you talking with us, I really do, who wouldn't love the chance to talk with someone as interesting as you." Blossom said patronizingly. Now she was trying to butter him up...way too late for that.
"Look, I'll take it up with my supervisor, just go somewhere else for awhile." the left head said, entirely unconvincingly.
"I imagine that will take a long time..." Blossom commented. Good. She was learning. On the plus side, the thing hadn’t tried to murder us yet.
"It might. So go." the center head said.
"Can I go with you?" Blossom asked.
"No." the heads said in unison again.
"Why not? I am sure it would be safe if I was with someone as strong as you." she said, trying to butter him further.
The cerberus didn’t fall for it. "No."
Blossom shrugged and turned around, walking away "Well, if you couldn't do it..." Man, she was getting better. That said, the cerberus sat back down, clearly not interested.
I motioned to the others, and we turned around and left to regroup and try and come up with a better plan.