User talk:Robotech Master/Deserted
First Comment!
Hey, I just finished reading this story, and Merging Traffic. I just want to say I love the new setting, and I really enjoyed both stories. I do have one small critique, though. In this story it seemed a little bit unnatural that Zane and Terry were talking about staying together forever so soon after they first met. I guess it seemed a little bit like talking about getting married halfway through the first date. :) I think Terry especially, because of his past, and because of how bitter and set against having a human partner he seems to be at first, could have more internal conflict about it, and take longer to come around. Anyway, this is only my opinion, and I'm only mentioning it to give you another perspective. I really did enjoy the story. --Antimatter (talk) 06:38, 23 July 2012 (UTC)
- Hey, thanks for the kind words, and I'll think about that. But part of the thing is, they're so close even after the first share, they basically already know everything about each other so there's no reason to be hostile or suspicious. In fact, he knew it from the moment they first Fused, and Terry didn't get all grabby-for-control-no-no-you-can't-have-any the way previous masters did. And Terry knows that Zane is the kind of person he's been missing in his life. (He still has a little trouble believing it when they're split, at first, which is why he's so bemused in his conversation in the DRRT, but he knows regardless.) If Zane had been another asshole like his past masters, he'd have known it immediately and had no qualms about leaving him where he could get a ride to safety.
- Really glad you liked it! --Robotech Master (talk) 12:55, 23 July 2012 (UTC)
Hello again! I've just started a re-read of all the FreeRIDErs stories so far. This series as a whole has really become one of my favorites. Anyway, I noticed these typos this time around:
- Terry knew that he would be a more comfortable place for Zach to sleep than any bed.
- Who's Zach?
- Okay, then. We’ll take them in.” He pauses, thought a moment.
- Looks like it should be "paused".
- :Send them a million in the name of Ryan Stonecross and Kaylee Cross,: Zane sent to Terry, keeping a straight face.
- Isn't Ryan's last name Stonegate? Or is this a reference I'm not getting?
Keep up the awesome work on these stories! Also, I've been assuming that posting typos is helpful, but let me know if it gets annoying and I'll stop. :-)
--Antimatter (talk) 07:11, 16 November 2012 (UTC)