User talk:Sturmovik/Extracted

I liked the introduction of a mysterious foe who was revealed to have only the best intentions. It came a bit too quickly after the introduction of Unity though. The genre of post-human is fun because you get to speculate on the nature of all sorts of super-tech, but it's also tricky because it's easy to fall into meaningless technobabble. Serena had a relatively deep character, for all that she was a stock disgruntled veteran personality. The part where she turned off augments in order to investigate a child's drawings was particularly interesting. The fantasy elements seemed thrown in there a bit haphazardly; doubtful that the civilization of the future would be that invested in gryphons and wolves. The story approaches the notion of alternate dimensions and multiple realities relatively conservatively, but I'd keep in mind that such things are always a ticking time bomb on any story's sense of continuity or coherence. It's just so easy for readers to say "why can't they just go to a reality where ____" for any of the conflicts, and keeping that from happening while still sounding relatively believable can be a challenge. See: any tumblr ask blog. The first part was kind of boring so I skimmed through most of it. It would probably have been better to introduce a mystery or conflict earler on, instead of the pages of sarcastic commentary on quasi-military politics. Skybrook (talk) 17:45, 15 October 2014 (CDT)