User:Hawl/An Integrate's Guide To Love
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FreeRIDErs story universe |
An Integrate's Guide To Love
Disclaimer:This story is a birthday present for my good friend Crimson, though still canon to the FreeRIDErs universe. Happy Birthday Crimson
153 AL - June 5th Uplift, Gondwanna, Planet Zharus
Zediel’s life had been turned upside down more than a few times times, but he managed to find solace in doing simple tasks or his friends. As now he was grocery shopping for his enclave, mostly buying parts, fab fluid, junk food, and maybe a vidya or a movie or two. True digital distribution was the way of the future and had been for centuries while Integrates tended to make their own things. Still Triangle Lighthouse was one of those enclaves were loyalty and respect were shown to Fritz, but they were still distant enough from him to do some trading with the nearby human domes provided they didn’t reveal themselves and enjoy some out of the usual commodities. Human domes like Uplift, where Zediel was now. Specifically an old supermarket that was confused about what exactly it wanted to be.
It seemed like it was going for a strange mash-up of Radio Shack or Circuit City with Lowes Foods or Food Lion. Leaving a store design that was as hard to navigate as it was unpleasing to the eye. Perhaps it would have worked much better as a convenience store and not a department store. The vibe was right for it. Zediel liked shopping here because so few did, and not only did he like to help out failing businesses to keep them open a little longer, but the less time he spent where people could notice that he was an Integrate disguised as a human via Hardlight, the better it was for everyone.
After triple checking his virtual checklist, he proceeded to the checkout counter. He didn’t have to wait in line, but there was Chet, his favorite cashier here. Zediel always chatting with him while he scanned his items into the register. Zediel already grabbing a Redpop Faygo and taking a sip. “I see you are industrious with your many consumers as per the norm.”
Chet’s ferret ears twitched as he heard that. “Yeah. I swear Gabe, if you didn’t come here and buy half the inventory twice a week like you do this dump would have close down months ago. What do you even need all this stuff for?”
Zediel took another swig before answering. “I live in a Desert Enclave with tons of superpowered natural-synthetic beings with an appetite for crap more vast than the Dry Ocean itself. Or maybe you’re the only place for kilometers that still sells Dr. Pepper flavored Cheetos and I’m just rich enough to keep you open for that reason. Likely both.” It was a trick he’d picked up years ago. When you need to lie and can’t think of a convincing one, just tell the truth. It’s not like anyone will believe you.
“You’re a funny guy. Total’s... 10,000 MU. Jesus, my RIDE doesn’t cost that much and he’s a MALE!” This was the norm, though Chet was still not used to it.
“Being a Superpowered Natural-Synthetic has a high paycheck.” Zediel shrugged, finishing the last of his Faygo. “By the by, I purchased some new lifters from the RIDE Market in this very town. Racing Grade. I noticed your ferret needed new ones, so I figured… while I was at it.” As he said this he grabbed a box containing the very ones from the bottom of his shopping cart.
Before Chet could say thank you, a woman with a black panthress fuser came in holding a rifle and pointing it at Chet. Company policy said no RIDEs while on the clock, so his was at home. “Give me the contents of your digital wallet, the register, and some Chocolate Covered Peanuts and I’ll be on my way.”
Chet freaked and immediately put in the emergency code in. The emergency code both called the police and authorized payment to a burglar who demanded money from the register, which of course only used Digital Currency as was Zharus’ custom. The young Ferret eared man was rather finnicky as it just kept giving him in an error code. “Ma’am I’m sorry, the Register isn’t working.”
“No funny stuff. Me and Janieth here will blow your god damn head off!” The woman in the panther fuser growled. Bravado that lasted only until her panther flew off of her and ran away.
“Hey! You’re on your own. I’m not fucking with these guys. One of them isn’t what they say they are!” Janieth screeched, leaving the store and running down the lane.
“COWARD!” The burglar growled. She appeared to be a young woman in her mid thirties with blue eyes, reddish blonde hair, panther ears, and a skintone that suggested her parents had differing skintones. “Alright you two. I’m still the one with the gun. So unless you want to eat lead...”
Zediel seemed almost bored as he reached for his weapon. A strange combination of a sword and what appeared to be a musket. It was a truly ingenious weapon constructed by the late Aristo Enryogall. Whatever machine the blade part was thrust into would see its energy siphoned. To be used as ammo for the musket portion of the weapon. “Ever see a weapon like this?”
The burglar opened fired at Zediel who blocked the bullets with his gun’s sword portion. Kinetic energy did actually count towards its charging, and it had been half-charged already. Aiming for the knee, Zediel badly damaged the woman who barely held on to that leg.
“Shit… shit… gotta… gotta go….. gotta get… medical attention.” She screamed, limping out of the store where police were already waiting. Zediel had been recording and sending to the Uplift Police Department since she pulled her weapon. He had also been responsible for her RIDE leaving and the emergency code not being accepted, but he wasn’t about to take credit for those. As it would have revealed his Integrated status to the public and he wasn’t meant nor willing to be the one to do that.
“Huh, you saved my bacon there Gabe. It’s lucky it didn’t let me pay her. I think if I lost our bi-weekly welfare check you keep giving us I’d be fired for sure.” Chet laughed to himself.
“They really need to start letting you bring your RIDE. Nothing is quite as effective at stopping a bad guy with a gun, except for an awesome guy with a gunsword.” Zediel said brandishing and showing off his weapon with dark glee.
“I do, they claim they’re worried I’ll play games in him or that he’ll gender jack someone. My Boss is from Nextus where they’re still pretty RIDEPhobic.” The young man behind the register explained in an irritated and frustrated tone that screamed. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them even if they were written by a diseased baboon whose dead from being dropped on his head fifty too many times.
“Well. I wish you the best of luck regardless. Anyone fucks with you or this store, you can just call me. I’ll take care of it.” Zediel said, bringing carts with him, he had paid for them too, and attaching them to a purple hover board he had been using to get around on now that the machine he had been using as a vehicle prior to becoming an Integrate was now a very real and permanent part of himself.
It was an unusual sight to see a man hoverboarding with a shit load of groceries, but Uplift was like that. Everyone in this city had some kind of story to tell people from all walks of life who had done a lot in the pursuit of happiness, so, it was unusual, but nothing anyone saw too much need in investigating. It was just that kind of city, everyone had their own story to tell and everyone else was aware of it. Some would call the polis lacking curiosity, those who knew better realized that people just knew how to mind their own business.
In an hour or two Zediel landed in the middle of the Dry Ocean just outside of a large green lighthouse. A place that had been his home for quite some time. Zediel just stood there and sent its security system a handshake verifying that he is an Integrate.
Xhyz and Lucypop were there waiting for him. “Did you get the Sour Candy Apple Faygo this time?”
“Third cart mil…. milad…. Third cart.” Zediel swallowed, pointing as he entered the enclave. At present in the middle of renovations. When Xhyz first acquired the property it was a military complex with a karoke bar included. Now Hardlight was being applied to give it a more outdoorsish approach. A sky in place of a roof, but not Zharus’. A queer concept, but for the Integrate Enclaves all too normal. It was a bit of a wonder that Xhyz hadn’t done this sooner.
The new appearance of Triangle Lighthouse, or Patchwyrk spelled with a y instead of an o, as Xhyz was trying to get everyone into the habit of calling it, had a bit of an Alice In Wonderland meets Shivering Isles theme to it. Hell the semi-robotic red panda originally wanted to call it Wonderland, but another enclave had beaten him to the punch. Zediel pretty swiftly got to work in setting up the hardlight. Immediately Zediel threw off his hardlight disguise revealing his true hyena nature and began standing beside a Meatface Integrate, which is an Integrate with a human appearance, who resembled a black haired maiden in masculine purple robes.
“Well met Zediel, I see you hath returned from the market. Metamor Keep has this taken care of, if you truly wish to aid. Then I hope I am not troubling when I ask for the delicacy you call Mint Flavored Water.” The black haired girl spoke forth. She preferred to be called, Princess Malisa, though Prime Minister, or Just Malisa would have done fine.
“Of course not, Malisa.” Zediel said to the long-haired tomboy before walking up to various Integrates all carrying carts to Triangle Lighthouse’s supply reservoir .
Though before he could reach out and grab the mint flavored water he was stopped by Xhyz. “You haven’t been back for five minutes and you’ve already gotten back to work. Zediel my boy, I know you’re technically a machine, but you’re also human. You’re going to burn yourself out buddy. You need to live a little.”
“We’re in the middle of renovations right now. Do you know how complicated it is to put up the kind of Hardlight Upgrades that….” Zediel was in the middle of saying.
Xhyz put a finger to Zediel’s lips. “That’s an excuse and you know it. Remember during New Years when you turned into a she-rat and started singing Still Alive? That’s the last time I saw you enjoy yourself.”
“Well we’ve been busy, so many things to do around here and…” Zediel looked around and started thinking as though he was about to name one.
‘No you’ve been busy, we haven’t had anything to really do until the renovation started. But you just insist on following me like a shadow. Hoping to find something amiss, but don’t think I haven’t noticed who you’ve been following more than me.” Xhyz smiled, looking back at Lucypop who was enjoying her Faygo as she sculpted a 3D Image in hardlight to sell as her latest figurine when she fed it into a fabber to create as an actual object.
Zediel looked too, using the more mechanical parts of him to run software to force his face frozen into an emotionless gaze as not to show Xhyz his true feelings for Lucypop were as alive as they ever were. Especially now that Xhyz and Lucypop were officially married in Triangle Lighthouse’s government, which was of course, run by Xhyz.
The 3D Image in Lucypop the thylacine paws was one of a black butterfly, the butterfly itself was black, but the wings were orange and if you looked into them you saw the faces of screaming and tormented people. Such was the taste of what she considered beauty. Elegance wrapped in the darker aspects of reality. This was not to say she was some emo kid shopping at Spencer’s Hot Topic or installing that nanite package bodymod that allows you to cry blood like teenagers who legitimately thought Twilight was a good book and still thought Shadow The Hedgehog was badass, long after they had turned 8 years old. No, instead it was more accurate to say that Lucypop had a way to see the complex beauty of the cosmos in all things no matter how gruesome or barbaric. Something from her human side, though it complimented well with her RIDE side, her animalistic side who was a savage bounty hunter whose favorite movie was Apocalypto.
Zediel was admiring everything about Lucypop, her fur, her concentrated look of a master craftswoman, her soulful eyes of various colors of the night sky, the fact that although she was a bit pudgy it didn’t stop her from moving gracefully. Even after her humanity ended she was still as beautiful to him as when they had been husband and wife, a long time ago. Back when RIDEs were a prototype, back when they were iffy ideas that not even the test pilots were keen on, before they were household names, before they had redefined what it meant to be a man, woman, or a human at all, and before there was a single Integrate on Planet Zharus, back before they had ever left the third rock from the sun. It had been many decades ago to say the least. Zediel and Lucypop both had very long lives, they had gotten to the point where they just didn’t care about tracking the time anymore. They could be in their 70’s or fast approaching the big 200 that was said the be the maximum potential lifespan of a human for all they knew. They remembered events, not calendar dates.
What they remembered was Aristo Enroygall and his untrustworthy sister who ultimately proved to be a false friend, wrapped up in her obsession with her own femininity, Karl “Kayla” Enroygall and their monopoly back on Earth forcing the two along with everyone else to either accept poverty or surrender their internal organs to him, because the jobs sure as hell weren’t there for people with flesh. Not that it was a problem for those big wigs adding precious decades to their lives by buying their organs. They could have given away millions a day and never missed it. There was talk amongst the Earthlings that things were better on Zharus. Zediel, or Gabriel as he had been known then didn’t buy it as he had heard bad things about Zharus. For starters it was just a desert back then full of useless irradiated rocks that just used their quantum properties to give people advanced new forms of cancer and killed them thus the idea that it was somehow an amazing place to live was a little strange.
Oh sure it was a planet ruled by very sensible people who seemed to want the very best for mankind instead of their wallets. Yet that doesn’t seem to change the fact that again, it was full of qubitite which pretty much meant anyone who wound up in the desert pretty much died, and considering the planet was bigger than Jupiter that wasn’t difficult. If that wasn’t bad enough the bigwigs of the joint were the insane Steader Brothers and the discount Indiana Jones that was the late great Clint Brubeck. But it was a planet with such weak unification that, although the planet prided itself on being egalitarian, places like Cape Nord and Sturmhaven existed. Cape Nord Zediel was actually rather cool with, but Sturmhaven reminded him so greatly of all the worst elements of his former friend Karl or Kayla as she came to be known.
As such as much as his little brother Jimmy warned him that they needed to get off that rock before it killed him, Gabriel just didn’t listen and insisted he try to better his life on Earth. That was until the day his brother proved right during a police raid that went horribly wrong as police raids on Earth often do. Earth would be the death of them, just like it was for the young Jimmy Locke. Well now he’s on Zharus and had been for a very long time, long enough to see the rise of RIDEs, the cessation of gender roles, and the birth of the Integrate race. All things philosophers would have field days over if the other planets knew about them. Seeing such major events as the Nextus-Sturmhaven War, The Death of Clint Brubeck, and the Venars Incident with his own eyes. Yet there was also a vast majority of bad luck such as when his old nemesis Aristo came to Zharus and kidnapped him for nearly a decade, sabotaged his RIDE, used him as a plaything, and forced him to ironically carry his bestfriend’s burden of Gender Dysphoia. Ontop of that he seemed to lose everyone he loved not just Jimmy. His best friend Karl became Kayla then ran off to find a Sturmhaven wannabe Casino Town called Femizona, and his fiance Lucy, she ran off after Integrating into the Thylacine-like creature known as LucyPop to become a hired gun asking for cold hard cash not morality. To make matters worse, her heart now belongs to an insane red panda who wasn’t even born human to begin with and likes dressing up in drag yet never seems to want to change sexes for some strange reason even though it’s easy for Integrates. A red panda he had no choice but to obediently serve for the rest of his life, simply because Zediel was a broken man and had no idea what the hell to do with his life now.
So naturally the hyena found it odd that that same red panda was asking that he take his ex from god knows how long ago out on a date. The red panda who was in fact LucyPop’s lawfully wedded husband. Now Zediel thought he had finally and truly seen everything. Having had all these thoughts in fast time, a feature of RIDEs and Integrates that let them run simulations that would normally take minutes, hours, or even days in mere seconds highly necessary for in field maneuvers to be performed with expert precision., he began to answer Xhyz. “Are you sure about this? There’s no way in hell she would accept my romantic advances. She did not after Aristo paid her to torch Venars, I do not think she would be so seduced by any of charms or wiles now that you have placed a ring upon her finger.”
“Sure I’m sure Zedi my boy. Am I ever not sure?” Xhyz reassured giving Zediel a grin and expressive eyes like a professional game show host trying to convince the big winner to risk it all in the lightning round.
“Well no, but you’re also completely and irrevocably insane. I think that is the important factor in this calculation.” Zediel pointed out and accurately at that, very few were ever sure of what was going on in Xhyz’s head at any given time in any of the thirty hours of the six days.
Xhyz smiled turning his head around 180 degrees like he was an owl. “Hold that thought Zediel.” he said, turning the rest of his body around to face one of the Metamor Keep role players, one playing a red panda shaman character who looked an awful lot like Xhyz, but without the ROB The Video Robot inspired visor over his eyes and dressed in an alchemist’s uniform.
Zediel watched as he wanted to see where this was going.
“Hello there, and what’s your name?” Xhyz asked, brushing a paw against the other red panda’s cheek.
“X… Xhyz of the Lumbee tribe, apprentice alchemist of Metamor Keep learning under Pascal Q. Porcupine…” The other Xhyz said feeling flustered from this other Xhyz’s touch on his cheek. Though he was bisexual he programmed himself to have the morality of someone who lived in the middle ages as part of his very dedicated live action role play.
“Xhyz, now there’s a pretty name befitting of a beautiful girl like you.” The Xhyz of Triangle Lighthouse said staring deeply into the other Xhyz’s red eyes with longing and passion.
“I’m not a girl, at least not currently… MMPH!” Xhyz of Metamor Keep couldn’t finish his thought as Xhyz of Triangle Lighthouse forced his tongue down the other Xhyz’s throat who rolled his eyes back, quickly returned the kiss, and began to pull the back of Triangle Lighthouse Xhyz’s hair.
Zediel stared in awe of this self-service as he saw two Xhyzes making out with one another as he began to question how in the infinite universe this was allowed to happen, he had seen some weird things and previously stated that he had seen everything, no that wasn’t everything, seeing Xhyz love upon himself and without a girl named Rosie Palms involved that was the pinnacle of everything. Go home, Zharus is over, because Xhyz just won the planet forever. This was a sight so strange that the Integrated collaboration of a man and a robotic space hyena began to question why there was a Metamor Keep version of Xhyz that looked identical that the Xhyz who lived both mentally and physically on Zharus. His mind drifted to the image of a giant black widow spider with eight beautiful legs, eight like the points of a Chaos Star, all touching different parts of her web and a web that was comprised of every aspect of the entire multiverse. Now say this spider goddess was a colossal smart ass who arranged for the Metamor Keep part of these many universes to meet with whatever part of it contained this specific variation of a planet approximately twenty light years away from the birthplace of humankind all for one massive cosmic joke on Zediel, as what was effectively God or at least the only one that was paying him any mind right now laughed at him and his confusion.
::Or, here’s a thought… Aristo just read Metamor Keep before building Xhyz. Seriously, God Spiders? That’s near the top of our list of the most retarded shit either of us have ever heard of… and that’s a long damn list.:: Whispered an aspect of Zediel to himself, whether it was Gabriel or Zedimuse he had no idea, the two were so closely knit in their permanent togetherness that they had basically no one of differentiating one half from the other except for extreme circumstances such as when Zedimuse killed an old friend of theirs because Gabriel didn’t have the heart to.
“You going to gawk at me? Because I’ve got my ladyfriend for the evening, you should go find yours.” Triangle Lighthouse’s Xhyz said to the hyena with giddy laughter as he rubbed the back his doppleganger’s neck.
“I’m not a girl, I thought I just told you that. I’m a…” Metamor Xhyz was saying only to have Triangle Lighthouse Xhyz’s finger grace his lips. It only took 3.7 seconds to register the simple fact that that was not all that that was gracing Xhyz’s form as nanites flooded his mainframe with a few minor improvements to his thermoplastic quantum flux molecular assembler increasing the levels of estrogen in the endocrine emulation and made a few feminine fixes to his body template. Changes that took three minutes and required a soft reboot. “...A girl… I.. I see..”
“Why did I stay for all three minutes of that?” Zediel blinked, watching the male Xhyz twirl the female Xhyz around as though she were a ballerina.
“LUCYPOP! GO TO HER!” Female Xhyz barked, it was truly amazing how such ferocious anger could spawn from a face as cute as the one that the male Xhyz had shaped hers into her.
“Shit… you heard the man.” Male Xhyz chuckled. “On your space bike!”
“I’m a lady, now treat me like one.” Female Xhyz purred with the flavor of seduction that only a woman could provide as she proceded to talk her male counterpart to the ground.
“No time like the present….” Zediel said, leaving the red pandas to maul one anothers privates as she went to find Lucypop, in a room that she requested was partially the wonderlandish outdoorsy style mixed with the industrial military complex that Aristo originally intended for the lighthouse shaped home of what he originally called his army of perfect techno-organic warriors.
There she was already morphing hardlight into her next great three dimensional masterpiece, shaping it to what her heart told her to. “Azure or Amethyst, speak to me muse… I’m all ears.”
Zediel thought this his words corny, but he had to follow his heart. The hyena had her before, when he was but a man, and he could have her again following that same heart, it had to work this same heart had cybernetic and nanitic upgrades, just enough needed for it to work for three which was convenient considering he was two. “This is your muse, have dinner with Zediel.”
“Seriously?” Lucypop cracked a smile. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been this much of a goof. What’s the occasion?”
Zediel froze and thought to himself, it had been quite some time when he went to bat with Lucypop and hadn’t immediately struck out. “No occasion just, how long has it been since we were together? It feels like a lifetime ago, and here you again. I know you’re bethrothed to Xhyz, but this was his idea.”
“Well, you’re 104, I’m 101, and we were in our 50’s when we broke up, so it kind of was. Anyway I know, he already told me. I just wanted to see you squirm. I don’t have faith in Xhyz’s plan, but I can at least humor him. Who knows, I might have the chance to crush your heart in my hand!” Lucypop said, growling at Zediel.
:: Not only was that a swing and a miss, but the bat flew out of your hand and smacked the kid from the Grant A Wish foundation!:: Spoke the taunting voice of Zedimuse in the combined headspace of himself and Gabriel.
“..I.. thought we could go to…” Zediel was saying, Lucypop ignoring him to grab another Faygo. While Lucypop’s paws gracing many bottles as she looked around. The glowing hyena was of course admiring her lucious backside which he would have playfully spanked and turned into an invitation to cuddle all those many years ago, but now he meekly stared like he was a virgin in High School again pondering what a vagina would feel like. A question he now embarrassingly knew more about the answer than he ever wanted to know. However Lucypop’s rear was not the main attraction, no that would be the bottles of Dixon Cider which he recalled was Simone’s favorite beverage and with it her skills at picking up women, even when she was in her far less flattering male form she or even he had charm, pure moxie and confidence, and now that was what he needed. :: I know you’re out of range, and there is no way for you to actually obey this request, but please, grant me what you called the Bertrand charm when you lived her, and have a good time on Earth.:: The Gabriel half of Zediel sent to Simone-Lucille’s comm code.
::Did you just pray to Simone?:: Zedimuse asked his Gabriel half.
“It felt appropriate.” The human half of Zediel, Gabriel muttered under his breathe. “May fortune favor the foolish.” he said before finally speaking up after running a small emulation of Simone’s personality. “To Cape Nord milday, where we used to be happy and be as one just as we are with our RIDE halves, but not in technological supremacy, but instead in the fiery embers of passionate…… oh my” everything was going swimmingly until suddenly the program shut off with an image of Lucypop’s face growling at him displaying in his mental processors.
“Do you think I’m stupid? You were using a personality emulation, I’m the greatest bounty hunter on Zharus, nay the universe. I can fucking tell the difference between you and that fake french whore!” Lucypop roared, firing a hardlight energy blast severing Zediel’s arm which fell to the ground in a silverish red puddle.
::Smooth move human half, good thing we’re an Integrate so you can just reattach it. Xhyz was a fool, Lucy is lost to you.:: Zedimuse laughed smuggly, enjoying the show.
::SHUT UP HYENA HALF!:: Gabriel roared back, grabbing his arm and placing it back on his stump, letting the nanites coursing through his body do their work. “My offer still stands..”
“Sigh… Alright Zediel. Worst case scenario is that you pick a shit restaurant with lousy beer.” Lucypop said, saving the 3D Image she was working on into her internal memory banks stepping outside with the hyena and into one of the skimmers of Aristo’s that Xhyz had renovated into more casual street legal use. Specifically one that resembled a Warthog from the ancient oil age video game series known as Halo, complete with soft-light translucent orange wheels that appeared whenever the vehicle was close to the ground. The drive to Cape Nord took well under an hour with Zediel blasting all of Lucypop’s favorite songs, the two actually had a good time with this as they sang along to music such Fallout Boy’s “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark.” Fallout Boy wasn’t usually what Lucypop was into, but this song was proving to be quite the exception, but still they sang along it just as they did Deadmau5’s “Raise My Weapon” which had been on as they stopped by the Cape Nord Dome entrance, the two making sure to activate their hardlight human disguises to maintain the secret existance of the Integrate race.
“Slow music with a lady singing, you sure you wanna come in here pal?” Asked the boarder guard who was in an anatomically correct lion fuser and of course in true Cape Nord fashion was completely naked otherwise, letting his RIDE’s penis dangle in the desert winds so that he could show off his mighty manhood to anyone coming or going, not that having mighty manhood was impressive on a planet where you can edit any aspect of your body, height, weight, ethnicity, skin color, organ color, eye color, hair color, species, sex, via nanites, but Cape Nord was not where one goes when they want to listen to reason. It is where one goes when there want to have all the violence, sex, and alcohol they could possibly take . Perhaps even a little more than that. “You’re starting off with a manpoint deduction, hope you know that.”
Zediel looked at the man in the muscle bound fuser and scanned him over a few times smiling before saying. “Relax, this is Deadmau5, there shall be no deduction. Not that it would matter. I have a shit ton of man points anyway.”
“Oh being a little bitch about this? 500 point deduction mister… uhh… having trouble picking you up on the record, I’m, getting too much interference from… something.” The lion fuser asked looking through a database of Zharusian citizens.
“Marshall Gabriel Zachirus Locke, Age 104” Zediel said, eyeing the border guard like he was a delicious pizza that needed to be devoured viciously because it was a meat lovers.
“Oooh a Marshall, Listen old man, they let any bitch become a Marshall, you’re no tougher than anyone else just because you joined out of a midlife crisis. Now let’s see here, oh… you have a permanent M-Card…” The man said getting a little nervous “Well, I’m not backing down, five hundred point deduction.”
“I see, well that’s very reasonable, do you know what else is very reasonable?” Zediel looked towards Lucypop with a giddyful gleeful grin. “Shall I tell him love?”
“Oh lord.” Lucypop laughed. “Yeah I think you should.”
Zediel opened the Warthog’s door and immediately kicked the guard right in the stomach of his fuser, damaging both the RIDE and the Rider who proceeded to vomit onto the ground. “Plus 1000 manpoints.”
“Yes sir… have a nice time in… Cape Nord…” The man said, too much in pain to question how what appeared to be a normal human was able to punch through solid sarium, one of the hardest metals ever.
“Damn right” And with that Zediel drove into Cape Nord, parked the Warthog and was out to search for an attractive dating venue. “Brings back memories doesn’t it Lucy?”
“I guess so…” Lucypop said, looking around at Cape Nord, it was very much the same as she remembered it. Bars and brothels on every street corner, billboards for booze with naked women with fingers in their privates, people carrying firearms like they were handheld gaming devices, people getting into gun fights being overly anxious to use said fire arms, a lot of naked bearded men, and whores offering themselves to every Tom, Dick ,and Harry. but mostly Dick.
Zediel offered Lucypop his arm and reluctantly they took it as they went for a walk down memory lane, taking in the scents of heavy tobacco and disgusting man sweat, ahh nostalgia. They started by looking through a weapons shop and finding guns that looked straight out of an old Schwarzenegger or Stallone picture, as well as stunningly beautifully craft knives, swords, and axes. Lucypop asked the store owner if she could try a few of the knives being more partial to cutting weapons than firearms. At first the clerk laughed and made a quip about how his blades weren’t meant for the kitchen, but after losing to her in a few rounds of Five Finger Fillet he trusted that she was skilled with a knife in addition to needing his fingers replaced. To add insult to injury the game attracted passersby who got his man points deducted for losing to a girl. Good times.
Afterwards they left the store, Zediel having bough in addition to two bottles of whiskey for them to drink as a they walked,t a few blades for Lucypop and a new katana for himself. Not that they needed the weapons, they just found them interesting. So far things seemed to be going swimmingly as Lucypop seemed less repulsed about the idea of touching Zediel, starting to actually snuggle against him.
“I’m getting a little peckish, where’s a good steakhouse?” Lucypop asked as Zediel pet her hair.
“Looking one up now.” Zediel smiled as he looked over his ZPS, his Zharus Positioning Satellite. Of course why it wasn’t just called a GPS like back on Earth was beyond him, but he didn’t question it.
Things definitely seemed off to a good start, but it might not end that way as the two failed to realize that they were not alone and had in fact, been followed by two women and a RIDE, an older woman who looked to be middle aged, having used nanites to use this to her advantage and make herself seem like a cougar or a milf type of gal, even having cougar RIDE tags despite her not having a RIDE, at least, not one on her. The other woman seemed quite young, would have passed for 11 or 12 had she not have an overdeveloped body that appeared the be a 21 year old anorexic with very obvious breast and boob implants, the girl could have seriously used those things as a table, it definitely didn’t go with her face. The younger woman had a RIDE with her a purple tigress with hardlight fur, the tail of both the RIDE and herself reading “CAPE NORD” in a pattern, a Black C on a purple stripe, followed by a Purple A on a black stripe and continuing in this pattern until CAPE NORD had been spelt out.
“That’s the guy Colette?” The older woman, dressed in a blue outfit three sizes too small covering only her nipples and her crotch, everything else was on full display, even her slight chub, belly button ring, and stretch marks, all there to add to the milf effect, asked in a seductive yet motherly tone,
“Yes Madame Chloe, that’s the guy my father told me to kill in his message. Some ex-marshall tough who goes by the name of Gabriel Locke, he’ll be good practice for my doppleganger. Right Sexcalibur?” Colette the younger turned to her RIDE.
“Affirmative, if you can kill him, you can certainly slay Kyle.” The tigress said growling, yet in a bit of a happy sing song tone. “I look forward to seeing you spray his blood all over the pavement.”
“He doesn’t look tough.” Chloe snorted eying him with a bloodlust. “I don’t see how he’s worth your time.”
“Dad said to kill him, if I saw him. Besides, Gabriel hasn’t been human since the Venars incident four years ago. According to my latest transcript about the guy he’s an Integrate.” Colette smiled, unsheathing a short sword and shield from her back. “I didn’t think they were real, but if Dopplegangers are, Integrates have to be too I guess.”
“Of course Integrates exist you moron, and they’re not very good tippers.” Chloe said bouncing her breasts in her hands. “But this guy? He doesn’t look like much, but if you say so. I’m not questioning any of you Enroygalls… Not since your father psyched… them on me….”
The tigress RIDE began playing an ancient french piece called Le Toreadore March and making her eyes glow on and off. “Hehehe.”
Chloe began sweating as painful flashbacks surfaced from the music. “I’ll keep in touch, I need to find some more Johns or we won’t be able to pay our dues for the month.”
“Alright then.” Colette said, re-sheathing her weapons and following the two lovers to a bar/steakhouse called “The Bull’s Horns” looking for a dark area to watch them from afar, or rather for her RIDE to while she scouted johns herself.
“Ah my dear this evening is turning out most wonderful and we haven’t gotten to the part where we beat some bar tough within an inch of his life.” Zediel said to his date, rubbing her by the cheek and staring longingly into her eyes.
“When you emulated Simone I was worried you’d lost it, but, I think I’m remembering why we got married in the first place.” Lucypop responded, leaning in for a kiss getting it instantly.
“So was I.” Zediel answered when the tongue was out of his mouth. “You know, I’m glad we’re wearing our human disguises for this. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a woman as beautiful as you.” He said, starting up a game of footsie with her.
Their waitress came just as the game started heating up, she was dressed like a slutty cow girl, wearing nothing but a hat, a vest, and some leather panties. The woman had tags from a bovine RIDE and the very obvious and gratuitous boob boost that came from bovine RIDEs. Why, the woman even had an udder for crying outloud which her leather panties awkwardly fit over though strangely enough her ears, tail, and horns seemed like that of a bull’s. Not too unusual considering Female Bull RIDEs did exist althoguh they very seldomly had or gave their riders udders. “Well howdy there darlings, and what can I get you two fine pardners to wet your whistles. We’ve got just about everythin’, why you can drink straight from my teat if you like.” she said, adding a cheerful moo.
Lucypop growled at the other woman, though settled down when it became obvious that Zediel wasn’t interested in this offer. “Two Arrogant Bastard Ales, and to actually quench our thirst I’ll have sweetened tea and my lady will have Dr. Pepper with Cherry. Isn’t that right love?” Zediel said to the waitress.
“You remembered my favorite softdrink, after 50 odd years.” Lucypop burst with joyfulness.
“That I did my love.” Zediel said with a blue.
“Alright, I’ll give you some time to look over your menus there darlings.” The waitress grinned, shaking her ass at Zediel, but leaving when it became obvious he wasn’t going to smack her posterior.
Their table proved quite popular as a man wearing absolutely nothing showed up next. “You’re Zediel and Lucypop, from Simone’s enclave aren’t you?” his voice seemed calmer and more caring than most Cape Nord men.
“Who wants to know?” Lucypop growled, stabbing the table with her knife.
“Andromeda Arrows. I used to live around here, decided to come back to visit for a little vacation. I live in Rodinia, studying Zharusian wildlife. I was hoping to run into Simone, but I can’t reach her on telecommunications. Do you know where she is? I used to be her girlfriend, back when she was a he.” Andromeda explained, reaching out his hand to Lucypop and Zediel for them to shake.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Simone’s a very dear friend of ours, but I’m afraid she’s gone back to Earth to convince her family to come to Zharus.” Zediel said with a nod. “I’d welcome you to join us, but we’re kind of trying to rekindle our marriage.”
“No biggie, I understand, me and Simone were engaged at one point so I know how it is. I was hoping to give her two cunts a good blazing if you knew where she was. That man was great with a pcker, but she works well with those vaginas of hers.” Andromeda gave a canine like wolf whistle.
“TMI!” Lucypop snapped.
“Eh, well, I’ll leave you to it, maybe we can hang out some time, any friend of Simone’s is a friend of mine.” Andromeda said before finally getting back to his table.
In the back alley of the restaurant, Colette was grinning as her RIDE gave her a live stream of the conversation, smiling as her lips were wrapped around the stiff member of her customer Although Colette was only 14 she was still a prostitute, there weren’t many options for an orphan living in Cape Nord who happened to be female it was either this or get plowed in a foster home without payment.::Dad, I know you don’t like me using this comm code, however, I’ve found some information on Simone Bertrand, the other person you want me to kill Here’s the audio stream.::
:: Mhmhmhm, Interesting, between this and the information your doppleganger has given me it seems you two aren’t as useless as I thought after all.:: Sent the mental voice of a dead man from parts unknown in the dry ocean, Collete’s father. Aristo Enroygall. :: So, Simone went with Shyver back to Earth how interesting. I can use Andromeda to get to Simone to get to Shyver. Take him and bring him to these coordinates in the Dry Ocean. Do NOT let Zediel or Lucypop stop you ::
:: Dad… why are you consorting with Kyle? I thought he was the evil doppleganger, the one I had to kill to prove my masculinity?:: Colette asked as she counted her john’s MU and began to search for another :: I mean, isn’t he the reason I supposedly have to sell myself? Because of the cures that won’t let me leave Cape Nord?::
:: Magick is very complicated my daughter. Let us just leave it at that.:: Aristo said as in his secret just for him enclave he looked over a few projects of his, some salvaged from his old factory at supernova, some new. Waiting for his chance to strike back at a world he believed should be his.
Back at The Bull’s Horns, Lucypop and Zediel had just finished a marvelous steak dinner as well as a few appetizers and second courses, being an Integrate gave one quite an appetite due to the high levels of energy their bodies burned. “That was superb my love, and just wait till… After Dessert coffee.” Zediel shot his date a very frisky look.
“Why wait?” Lucy roared, jumping over the table and onto her mate, knocking Zediel to the ground and kissing him deeply, his hands rubbing up and down her back as their hardlight clothing vanished. Leaving them nude, but still in their human forms.
This display of carnal pleasure received roaring applause from patrons and staff alike. Andromeda watched them go at it with obvious signs of enjoying the show due to his choice in no-clothing for a good fifteen minutes before asking. “Mind if I join in?”
“Yes I mind! This man is mine and mine alone!” Lucypop declared.
A second man came up to Lucypop and smacked her right on the rear before unbuttoning his pants. “Who asked you!?!” he said, crouching over her looking to get in on a threeway.
Zediel however wouldn’t stand for it and pushed Lucypop and the man off before using his lifters and hardlight generator to telekinetically raise the man up in the air and throw him. “Alright asshats, you’re lucky I let a show happy, only one man is pleasuring my wife tonight and that’s me! Anyone who objects can come and face me!”
More than a few people looked over Lucypop and decided that they wanted a piece of that, chairs and beer bottles were broken into makeshift weapons, actual weapons were gotten out, and RIDEs were fused with. “Oh no, you’re going to share the wealth with an ass like that on her.” one person called out in lustful arrogance.
Zediel looked back at Lucypop, both putting their clothes back on with their hardlight generators. “You did that on purpose didn’t you darling?”
“What can I say? I love a brawl!” Lucypop pounded her first into her other hand.
The fight lasted two hours with no one coming close to being able to harm the integrates, it was almost boring as people practically began KOing themselves until it got really interesting. As the only four people left in the joint, as most were knocked out or fled for their lives, were Integrates. Zediel, Andromeda, Lucypop, and one other.
“Well I’ll be damned, three other integrates, it was the only way you were going to be able to beat all these folks.” Spoke one who came force, a bull one with all blue Intergate lines in various male symbols, wearing all black that showed off his muscular midriff and massive buldge. “I’d have joined an enclave, but why? Only here can I be a real man. I assume you three are meant to take me there, where no one will find me. No dice. I’m going to kick your ass and take that whore for myself.”
“We’re not Fritz’ Candlejacks, but if it’s a fight you want it’s a fight you’ll get.” Zediel cheered, going into his integrate form which used to have purple tronlines back in the day but now had red ones made to look like blood and thus a true battle began between Zediel and an Integrate who actually knew how to hold his own. The bull Integrate mostly fought with hardlight lassos which Zediel had no good counter against, against his energy absorbing gunblade of course. It was still difficult as Zediel’s arms were continuously restrained making the blade use tedious but eventually he got the hang of it and took the other integrate out with two well aimed laser blasts from his gunblade. “I am unstoppable!” Zediel laughed to himself before stretching “You know Andromeda, it’s been nice running into you, but me and Lucypop here need to hit the hay, and the hay is her pussy. And I’m hitting it with my penis.”
“I got that… well seeya” And there went Andromeda.out of Zediel and Lucypop’s evening.
The two lovers drunkenly headed to their car when they were stopped by an 18 year old women whose face looked 14, and body looked 23 a woman whose tail spelt Cape Nord, Colette of course. “Hey there stud. Suck your dick for five mu, and I’ll even remind you to turn on your hardlight disguises in public for free.”
“No I’m good…” Zediel said and attempted to walk by the woman only to have a shield thrown at the back of his head as though this woman where Captain America, and like Captain America it somehow came back to her. “WHAT THE FUCK!?!”
“The name’s Colette Enroygall, but you can call me Paladina Y. It is my mission to slay my enemies to prove myself worthy of manhood.” The woman posed in an outfit that was a combination knight armor and cowboy garb. How she changed out of her hooker clothes to this so fast I have no idea.
“Oh Aristo’s daughter, cool… have fun with that.” Again Zediel attempted to walk by her, but shield to the back of the head. “...Okay that is pissing me off.”
“I must kill my doppleganger and you Gabriel Zachirus Locke. To prove my worth as a man!” Paladina Y roared.
“Can’t you just buy a male RIDE?” Zediel asked.
“No… I will kill you, without even using my RIDE!” The armored cowgirl declared getting out a sword and sheild and attack Zediel who countered with his paddle sword and gunblade.
Lucypop just shrugged “Why not? You’ve kicked everyone else’s ass tonight.”
The sword fight went on for awhile with neither having a real advantage, until Zediel chuckled. “So you do realize my gunblade fires a laser if it gets filled up with energy?” He asled the crazy eighteen year old
“So?” Paladina Y asked, not letting up her sword swings for a second.
“Kinetic Energy counts!” Zediel exclaimed firing his laser at Paladina Y, but what happened he almost couldn’t comprehend .
Colette’s sword not only absorbed Zediel’s attack, but once she placed it inside of her shield it amplified it into a circular beam of energy that broke Zediel’s gunsword into many pieces when he tried to re-absorb it, in addition it knocked him flat on his ass with the daughter of Aristo walking over him with her sword to his cranium as only destruction of the brain can kill an Integrate. “Imagine how much deader you’d be, if I used a RIDE.”
Lucypop doing the only thing she thought to do, kicked the assailant in the god damn ribs and ran with Zediel carried over her shoulder back to warthog and then back to the Triangle Lighthouse enclave. “OUT OF MY FUCKNG WAY!” She screamed throwing Zediel on a table. Others tried to help, but Lucypop just growled at them.
Upon examining the damage she found he was having a critical error in his life support system and a few of his processors had holes in the that were still burning and sparking. It was a close call but eventually Zediel booted up and groaned. “Where’s my gunsword… I thought I absorbed it with my gunsword…”
“It’s in a million pieces..” Lucypop said before thinking of something to say that would be cheer Zediel up. “Like your heart!” she exclaimed getting ontop of him, kissing him, and causing him to flatline by squeezing his organic heart with her bare techno-organic paw causing Zediel to flatline for a few seconds before coming back on as the mechinical parts were far more important than the organic ones except the brain.
“That felt amazing, how did you know I’d enjoy you crushing my heart?”” Zediel asked as the nanites in his body started repairing that organ.
“Bitch, I’ve hacked your porn.” Lucypop smiled. “Thanks for tonight, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I love you again.”
“Me too.” Zediel smiled. “Me too.”
