User:Hawl/Simon Of Cape Nord
|FreeRIDErs story universe|
Author: Jessica K. Nichols-Vernon aka HawlSera Tygarus Enroygall
Simon Of Cape Nord
Simon Bertrand had a bit of a rocky start so far in his transition to Zharus, rocky but alright. It seemed for every bad thing that happened to him in the wild and wooly world of Zharus, something really good happened, and vice versa. When he was first unfrozen he met his roommate George and learned of Cape Nord, a man’s paradise.
The second Simon GOT to Cape Nord to register for a citizenship, he was arrested for having snuck into a cryo sleep chamber and thus having stowed away aboard the Silverstar illegally. Which turned out to do him favors in the long run as he was merely placed under house arrest at his home/garage, a place George picked out as a decent bachelor pad. The garage part of it wasn’t intentional it just came with the house. Normally one does not want to pay for such things as they just add to the cost unnecessarily however it turned out that was big enough not only to curry the favor of the local government group Ye Olde Patriarchy, but it gave Simon the idea to start a shop that fixed up RIDEs to earn a living while he stayed under house arrest. It quickly grew and for awhile was a hotspot, mostly because of the Mancard system.
Simon didn’t completely understand it, but for whatever reason, Cape Nord had a strange policy of taking any manly deeds you did and converted them into points which they put on a card. Simon’s was a Capital M Level 2 card. Apparently starting a business, getting arrested for a manly crime, and having garage based skills were all worth a lot of Manpoints!
As soon as his time was up Simon found himself using his mancard to see the best of what Cape Nord had to offer. Which was mostly junkfood, bars, and strip clubs. Simon was fond of all of these, after all, what did he love more than getting drunk and having sex? Not much. And he had a lot of sex. Not only were the strip clubs amazing and exemplary but they were basically brothels and they only really charged people who had a lower case m. Truly Simon felt like he was in Heaven, especially when she got off work to meet him at his place at 17:45 every night.
Life was simple, until the deductions came. While the initial buzz around Simon was so loud you would have thought he had three Y chromosomes as opposed to one X and one Y, it eventually died down when the men of Cape Nord began to realize a few facts about Bertrand. He was incredibly, obscenely, unapologetically, and incurably the one thing Ye Olde Patriarchy could tolerate even less than femininity. Which is of course, French.
All the strange artsy decor in Simon’s garage, the briefly famous Nord By Nord West, was just the beginning of his problems. The fact that he was too stubborn to take his roommate George Maxwell’s advice and change it was the end of the prologue. While George’s half of the workplace had ads for all the cigarette and beer brands with the toughest looking commercials as well as pictures of Playboy models with their breasts and derrieres on full display, Simon’s had famous french sculptures from the 23rd century and only one painting of a naked woman. Yet even that saw Mancard Point reductions because unlike the lustful gazes of the playboy women that said “Mount me, abuse me, wear me out. You want it just as much as I do.”, Simon’s singular painting was a more refined look, one that was artistic with a dignified noble flair. In short, it was just too sophisticated for Cape Nord’s tastes. This and his other offenses were why the Simon, George, and their RIDEs a bloodhound named Godfrey, and a bull named Bates who were Simon and George’s respectively. Were having a meeting this morning.
“You’ve really done it now. The Masculinity Patrol will be here any minute. You knew you were on thin ice, but then you start humming Lady Gaga songs. Are YOU trying to become a woman?”
“I’ve given it some thought once or twice, what man hasn’t?” Simon shrugged, seeming completely unphased by what was happening around him. “Seriously though, it is not my problem zat Cape Nord can not see mon poker face.”
“Are you even taking this seriously bro?” George asked dumbfounded by this behavior, he knew that Simon treasured his manhood greatly. Hell something it was all he ever talked about, unlike most other patriots of the patriarch, Simon’s spiels about it seemed
“As serious as the situation calls.” Simone swung back in his chair and continued playing a mental game of Duke Nukem:Manhattan Project. The Duke Nukem series was very popular in Cape Nord, and Simon agreed, finding favor with it was it was one of the few reasons he had as many man points remaining as he did. “This whole thing is silly, and soon we’ll be laughing about it.”
“If you say so man.” George said with a foreboding voice. “Well while you’re trying to improve your score. Some guys from Manly Men Monthly are going to be over to help try and salvage this place from how much your Level 5 status has vacated it.”
“Sounds promising, vous have good luck with zat.” Simon responded on a bit of a delay as he didn’t actually speak english, but merely had a translator in his head that he sent words he heard or was about to say through to communicate with others. He could have easily learned the language, but just didn’t feel like it.
George shook his head at Simon and went back to cleaning the place up, and taking down a few of her frenchie friend’s girliest decorations just to give a good show to the interviewers who would soon arrive. It didn’t seem like long though before two overly muscular men with thick beards, pungent musks, and lion tags showed up into Nord By Nordwest, fusing up with their lion RIDEs the second they came in. “Simon Bertrand, you know why we’re here?” they said to the man who had been just sitting in the common waiting entry room of the Garage playing his game the whole time while awaiting their arrival.”
“Oui ou monsieurs. My RIDE has already been ordered non to follow us as vous requested.” Simon smiled at his guests. “You’re planning to take moi around town and perform several tests.” He said in a bit of an excited voice. “It sounds fun.”
“Glad to see you’re being a man about this, that’s twenty five manpoints right there!” One of the officers smiled with looking into Simon’s face with hope in his hair. “And here I was thinking I’d fail you before you even got out of the chair. By the way, that’s 30 points taken off for not growing a beard like we ask. 10 Points off for the accent.”
“Keep the deduction if you must, but le accent stays!” Simon roared up in defensive anger. “If you try telling ME I can’t speak in a french accent, you can just va te faire foutre, trouduc!”
“Beg your pardon?” One the lion fusers asked for clarity as they did not understand any french phrases.
“Fuck off, asshole!” Simon clarified before standing up. “Shall we depart?”
“Hmm, alright, no more further accent deductions for today, but watch it!” The lion fuser nodded making a note of Simon’s willingness to stand up to authority figures. “Follow us and we can begin. Oh, but first, would you care for a cigarette before we drive off?”
“Non. I don’t smoke, it just isn’t good for your lungs.” Simon turned down the cigs with a simple hand gesture. “But, merci for le offer.” Hid distrust for tobacco mostly came from his Earth upbringing, the impoverished of Earth were hardwired not to smoke with tons of propaganda. The poor were expected to sell their lungs to the wealthy, and the wealthy felt entitled to the best organs available. It was proving a hard habit for Simon to start, he wanted to, but he just kept thinking of his lungs. Even with the ability to just print new ones.
“Okay failed the first test.” The officer groaned making a mental note of it. ”And you were doing so well to begin with.”
::It has begun, they may think it’s girly or queer if I stopped to say au revoir to vous.:: Simon sent to George, getting a response he’d translate later.
The three all walked out of the garage and into Cape Nord’s artificial sunny day under the dome. One of the men defusing from their RIDE and having him go into skimmer mode. It was an old rusted hover police truck with bullet holes, laser burns, and those tacky childish truck nuts Simon detested so much, the norm for an officer’s vehicle. There was an invisible roof over the back for prisoners, this is where Simon was riding as his officers explained more of the situation to him. “Alright Bertrand. Here’s the deal.” A speaker positioned in the back of the truck burst through with the voice of one of the officers. “We’re going to skim around the town, you look out for a babe and tell us when you see one that does it for you, then get her number.”
“Should be simple enough.” Simon replied, already on the look out. “The trouble shall be to narrow it down to une mademoiselle.” The dog tagged frenchman’s tail wagged as they passed various women all with the amazingly well endowed and youthful builds of the mostly blonde locals, and a few of the tourists. Eventually they went past a pink haired girl with an innocent carefree expression just out for a walk reading a book. She was definitely a local or at least an innocent, the breasts and outfit comprised of barely nothing gave it away. Definitely not just a crossrider or PSA owning tourist, for one thing she didn’t have RIDE tags, for another her demeanor was casual not excited or appalled like most sightseers. “Her! Definitely her!” Simon pointed.
The officers stopped and let Simon off from a distance so he could walk up to her all casual. “Good luck kid, we’ll be watching from a distance. Great choice.” they said to him. Before he could answer the police truck turned back to a lion and re-fused with his owner.
Simon headed straight for the maiden with pink hair and smiled at her. Stopping to admire her fair skin for awhile, she noticed she had been wearing glasses. Likely to chat with her friends as she moved through the town.“Pardon moi mademoiselle, but it is not often one sees a woman unescorted around here. I ponder, why is that?”
“Just didn’t have an escort.” The maiden turned to face Simon. “I mean hey we’re Male Centric, but we're not Oil Age Saudi Arabia, don’t need an escort all the time. Why do you ask?”
Simon, walked closer to her and grabbed her hand gently, looking it over. “Oh I didn’t zink you needed one cherie, I just find it odd that your man would want you out of his sight for a second.” he said, rubbing her soft delicate hand adorned with pink nail polish, just before he kissed it. “I know I wouldn’t. To have you leave mon sight would to leave the absence of divinity itself.”
The officers watching from afar where laughing to themselves from their hiding spot. “Hahahaha, wow, what soap opera did he pull that from? As if he didn’t already sound like a pussy.”
“Looks like this is going to be a short day. Think Simone will be hot?” The second one asked.
“Hey you know what they said about french chicks.” The first officer was practically licking his lips in anticipation of a french maid, bending over at just the right angle at just the right time, calling him master, making vague sexual innuendos about polishing his spear. It was all so deliciously erotic.
One could imagine their surprise as the girl found this strange, but not in the way the officers expected. The girl blushed a deep red, putting her book in her purse to give Simon her full attention. “You… there’s no way you can mean that.”
“Oh but ma flower, I can and I do.” Simon assured, rubbing under the woman’s chin and looked deep into her eyes. Keeping the gaze as he rubbed his hands down her curves, softly placing a hand on her round rear end. “The fire in my heart that burns for you, is… oh I am such a fool. Getting ahead of myself. With these delusions of having you.” Simon turned around, averting his gaze from her. “I am sorry I have wasted your time. Go on without me.”
“Okay, he’s aborting, let’s move in!” One of the officers decried.
“No no. I mean you came on strong, but I could stand to have you looking at me for a little while longer.” The woman smiled. “The name is Andromeda. I was born and raised here, doing pretty good for myself all things considering. You are?”
“Andromeda? What an amazing name for a true Aphrodite, mine is plain, just Simon Bertrand of Neo-Paris, Earth. I came here to find my fortune and I think I have found her.” The lustful man was now determined to bed her for the sake of bedding her, all thoughts of his silly test were vacant from my mind. “...Will she let me earn her? Allow me to toil through mines of danger and daring to share my being with her even more so than RIDE and human are capable of.”
“Mr. Bertrand… I…..” Andromeda was blushing harder, finding herself deeply infatuated with Simon. It was the corniest pick up lines, but combined with his energy and his accent it was music to her ears. “I’ve never met a man who… moved me in this way.”
“Let me move you in other ways…” Simon’s hand on her rear snuck into her white-miniskirt and squeezed her rear end as he bit on her neck.
“Mr. BERTRAND! I… aaaaahh..” Andromeda screamed out in pleasure before going quiet and sticking her tongue in his mouth. “...I…”
“Don’t talk, just..” Simon put his free hand on her lips once their entanglement of the mouths had ended. “Keep me in mind…. I have to run a few errands, but message me while I do so...” he said, his hand on her luscious taut and soft peace of a rear sliding over her wet sex, giving her a good sensation of bliss just before he licked his fingers and walked away. ::I need you… and you need me.</nowiki::>
“I’LL CALL YOU!” Andromeda called, her face now completely red as she replayed the memory of her brief union with Simon in her mind over and over. “I…”
Simon smirking, not even facing her as he walked towards his judges. “I know vous will.” He called back to her. A lion fuser officer patting him on the back as he reached them.
“That was the girliest, froo-frooey garbage I’ve ever seen? How the hell did you do that?” The officer asked startled. “I mean… it worked, but… that method was… I.. Do we take off points for that or give them?”
“I don’t know… The rules say he has to flex his nuts and get the girl! It doesn’t say anything about, whatever the hell that was.” His nearly identical partner scratched his head. “Maybe she’s just a dumb slut?”
“Yeah let’s just omit this one...” The first one said in a rushed panic looking around the city block for something. “Let’s.. uhh… hmmm. Get into a fight with that guy!” He said finally finding a man walking nearby without a shirt, just listening to his music on his way to a nearby bar. “He doesn’t look that much stronger than you and that’s something you can’t talk your way out of!”
Simon looked the man over, he was buff, but not typical steroid abuser buff like most Cape Nord men do. He seemed like a douche, but a harmless one. The officer was right, this may have been a fair fight, but Simon didn’t find any ability to act. “Why?”
“Because a real man fights…” The officer who pointed him out said like it was obvious. “Duh.”
“Only if he has too, sorry I’m turning zis one down.” Simon folded his arms and turned away from the direction of the man. “But I WILL challenge him to a drinking contest instead.”
“That’s a pussy excuse if ever I heard one! You’re just scared you’ll lose. There’s standing up to me and there’s being a vagina.” the Officer snapped at him.
“Oh? Then I’ll challenge YOU to a drinking contest instead!” Simon declared, tapping on the officer’s chest with his finger. “Now do you want me to fight some asshole with no consequence to you? Cause I still will, but if you have me beat some stranger instead of competing against you. I mean, what does that say about you? That you’ll hide behind anything to avoid a drinking contest with me? I mean, I guess that’s okay if you don’t like booze like most women don’t.”
“Oh please, you’re just trying to deflect this onto me.” The lion fuser roared at him in rage.
“Right, right, right, fine you can grab le bottled water out of your purse to drink. While I go get myself something with more kick to it. That way we both benefit.” Simon walked right into the bar, not caring, but fully expecting, that the lion would follow. Finally giving into the taunts from Simon, mostly from his RIDE reminding him that Simon had a point. Turning down a challenge? If his superiors heard about that it would raise some doubts.
So, he followed Simon into the pub, an old oil age style biker bar called “Testosterone Poisons.” determined to see Simone in that frenchmaid outfit.
The scene inside Testosterone Poisons was exactly what was expected, pinball, pool, and sports as far as the eye could see. Which wasn’t very far due to the chain smoking. Men were comparing tattoos, RIDEs, and muscles as they laughed jovially at their own masculinity, holding close whatever women they could find while comparing one another’s farts. The only person out of place was Simon, whom the scorned officer found immediately after he heard his unique accent making one of the dumbest mistakes one could make in Testosterone Poison. “Barkeep, a simple red wine will suffice if vous would be so kind.”
There was laughter all about the bar as all eyes were on the dumbass and his grape juice. The bartender just shook his head as he pour the wine glass. The officer who had challenged him just laughed as Simon swirled his wine casually as if nothing happened. “Would you like a tampon to go with that? All bets are off, if you challenge someone to A WINE drinking contest there’s just no hope for you. I am hereby revoking your mancard!”
“Mmm.. is that so?” Simon asked, taking a sip from his drink and wagging his bloodhound tail happily “Well, defuse and let me ask you something.”
“Why?” The Officer asked. “I don’t need to take shit from a woman-in-a-man’s body.”
“Humor me.” Simon pleaded.
“Fine. What are you going to do chicken shit?” The man asked as he defused and shoved Simon back. ”I don’t need a RIDE to handle wusses like this.”
“Oh just this.” Simon said calmly, but what he did next was less than calm. Breaking the wine glass and jumping off the barstool and tackling the enforcer of Man Points. Holding the sharpest end to his neck. “What I drink on my own time is my own business. If I want a wine, I’m having a wine, if I want to talk in a french accent, I talk in a french accent! But if you seriously thought my proposed challenge was based in wine, you are sorely mistaken. I wouldn’t waste a drop on vous with la elixir of my people!”
“Are you sure this guy doesn’t have a mancard? He just kicked your ass!” A patron pointed out, the very one that Simon refused to attack earlier. “If he doesn’t have one, you don’t have one either.”
Simon laughed to himself. “Just as planned" he muttered under his breathe. “You, Me, Hyper Vodkas! Now! Loser becomes a woman.”
“...Clever. Alright, fine, but since your card was already expired. When you lose and become a whore, you have to suck my cock whenever I demand it.” The officer chuckled. “You also have to call me Master King, my name is King Davidson, so you will call me Master King.”
“I’d do that anyway!” Simon rebutted, removing the wineglass shard from his face. “You’re actually quite handsome!”
“...Well glad to hear you’re so willing.” King thrusted in a suggestive manner. “Never fucked an Earth chick before.”
Many crowds gathered once it was set up, Simon and the officer looking each other down as they grabbed the first shot glasses full of Hyper Vodka, one of the most potent non-mixed drinks in the universe. “Hey, you know, you can still give up and have only a minor deduction on your card.”
“And miss out on my blowjob? Ha! It begins!” Officer Davidson downed the first shot as it was water and didn’t seem to even slightly recoil from the taste or even lick his lips to overwrite vodka with saliva.
It quickly became intense as Simon revealed the ability to mimic this feat with two shots at a times. “Indeed it does ma future cherie, indeed it does.” he agreed, waiting patiently as King took his turn.
It continued like this for the better part of an hour, both parties now seemed like either could drop over any second, yet at the same time seemed to have enough pure willpower to ignore anything their RIDEs were warning them about their potentially fatal doses of this wonder liquor. Banter was everywhere, getting less and less sensical and understandable with each passing turn. Though most of King’s insults were nothing more than a list of all the sex moves he was going to do on Simon once he crossed, while Simon’s were french phrases no one got, or at least they were after he became too drunk to read his translator properly.
When it began winding down, Simon became nodding out while King was only woozy. It looked like the end for the former. “Sex slave here I come.” He declared, once in English and a second in french just to make sure Simon heard that. “You’re sleepy aren’t you? This is already over.
Simon heard what he said in french and decided to take drastic measures. “No, I wash justshs about the raise the stakesh. You can ha… hic.. ve my garage, my RIDE, my money, and my hand in marriage if you win. If you lose, you become my sex slave.”
“Why the hell not? You’re as good as mine already french maid. Besides, a third wife would really liven up my home.” King decried, taking another shot as he began crossing over Simon in his head.
It was all a ruse on Simon’s end, a brave one that relied on this comeback. “With as excited as you are at the premish of fucking moi.. hic..., I’m starting to wonder if it’s me AFTER crossing you’re really into?”
King didn’t catch the subtle nature of the insult and embarrassed himself by saying “Hellsh yearghh, I love frenchies! Never had one!”
Something that proved advantageous to Simon as he began speeding up his intake to cover up the small blow to his masculinity. Forcing him to pass out in only two more turns, and just as soon too, Simon could not have handled one more shot without severe liver poisoning. He’d need seriously medical attention after this. “Looks like I won… Hehehe… Okay… Have King’s RIDE come see me at Nord By Nordwest when she’s a she.” he cheered before being lifted up by several patrons, including King’s partner who took note of this in his report. Getting the man card of an officer revoked was nigh impossible, but this frenchie did it!
-The Next Morning-
Simon didn’t remember too much about last night, having a hangover from hell and a Level 1 Mancard were the only clues he had as he got up and tried hard to recall the previous night. After drawing only the words “Testerone Poison” and “King Davidson”, he looked towards the feminine figure on his head. “Oh that’s right, I earned me a consort last night!” he said, rubbing the woman on his bed. “Told you, you weren’t a man King!” He snarked.
“My name’s George Maxwell, who the hell is King Davidson? God.. I had the weirdest dream last nigh.. but at least it was just a…” The woman claiming to be Simon’s very male roommate rubbed her throat for a second noticing that not only her voice sounded strange, but she had no adam’s apple. “Dream…”
“George?!?!” Simon cried out, looking her over. Now that she mentioned it, she did bear a slight resemblance to George, even kept bovine tags, though now of a Dairy Cow as opposed to a Longhorn Bull. Hell, she even had an udder. “But how?!?!”
“OH GOD! We did didn’t we!?! I… I mean all I remember is the magazine guys showed up, and then they told me that I was I was sucking up too hard to them and… Oh god it wasn’t a dream. They revoked my Man Card!” George, Georgette buried her face in her palms.
“That’s correct, I have the rest of your memories. You were so nervous and yes-manny that they revoked your card, so they fused you with me.” A cow RIDE in the corner of the room spoke up, laying on what was normally Bates’ recharging couch. “You only dropped down one level, but they felt it was enough to genderjack you…. And given that they write Manly Men Monthly, I don’t think prosecuting them will work. Name’s Alyssa by the way.”
“...Well thanks for breaking it down slowly…” Georgette said sarcastically, looking over her new breasts and especially the swollen udder, the latter would take far more time to get used to.
Simon wanted to point down the irony of how just the other day George was warning him about his mancard, and now that George is a woman and he has a high level mancard. The opposite of Georgette’s predict came true. But he was too busy focusing on the unsavory wake up. “George… Please tell me we didn’t!” He remembered far less than George did about the previous night having been so drunk.
“...I think we did…” Georgette noted, seeing a discarded condom wrapper on the floor and after having a better look, realizing that not only were the two nude, but there was a condom on Simon's phallus, it looked used.
“Yes, actually… I wanted to break that to you slowly….” Alyssa looked around nervously.
“You’re lucky I talked him into a condom, I don’t have any birth control nano and neither does Alyssa.” Godfrey chimed in. “We tried to stop you two…”
Simon and Georgette looked at each other in disbelief over what their RIDEs were telling them. “I think you need to fuse with us and replay our memories of last night….” Simone demanded.
Agreeing the two RIDEs jumped onto their operators and flooded the memories back to them. “Oh god, we did… AND I LIKED IT!” Georgette squealed.
“Oh god so did I, Georgette, I am… if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…” Simon was mortified, did she just rape her closest friend on Zharus. She tried to call her George, but Georgette was such a looker that Simon couldn’t bring himself to do it.”
“....No it’s okay… we were both drunk. Besides I offered..” Georgette looked over herself more, in disbelief, while mentally she kept hearing the words. “Well, if I’m gonna be a bitch I might as well be as try to enjoy it!” that she had screeched at the intoxicated Simon just the other day.
“I should have tried to talk you out of it… God no you were right I was drunker than you were, you only had a few beers… Look.. uh.. I..” Simon shuddered, he still felt highly unclean, the only solace was that so did his roommate.
“Let’s just agree that last night was strange…” Georgette got up out of bed, de-fusing and looking through the fabber’s designs for some clothes to wear.
Simon averted his gaze as she did so. “So, now what are you going to do?”
“It’s only been a few minutes…” Georgette answered, scratching her head as she tried finding out how to put on a bra she printed. “I don’t know…”
The two descended downstairs after dressing, getting some breakfast from the food fabber, a croissant for him and a bacon egg and cheese sandwich for her. They seemed to do very little eating though as the two looked over one another. Still thinking about last night, and a more in the present problem. The two didn’t want to admit it, but they actually seemed attracted to each other. “Georgette….” Simon said, smiling at her admiring her charms before shuddering at remembering what occurred last night.
“Simon…” Georgette couldn’t prevent herself from checking Simon out, once she noticed she was doing it she quickly looking away. “....I.. God this feels weird.”
“...Yes it does.” Simon averted his gaze as well. He didn’t WANT to be attracted to Georgette and he knew they needed to stop ogling each other like teenagers and gain perspective. “I think you need to go for a walk..clear your head, I’ll try to lose myself in work.. Just… take the day off.”
“I think that’s best…” Georgette nodded, getting up to leave, fusing with Alyssa before she did. “We need to… clear our heads, like you said…”
“Farewell…” Simon said, retreating to the garage as fast as he could to begin working on a few of the RIDEs dropped off with them. His mind drifting to various topics, sports, games, french culture, his older brother, his deadbeat dad, his angelic mother, anything to not think about Georgette. Doing some chatting with the Andromeda girl he met just the other day for company. ::Hey. It’s Simon, do you remember me from yesterday? If you want to stop by the garage I could use some company.::
But there was no answer, he assumed she must still have been asleep and continued working. Finding the harder he tried not to think about his shock from this morning, the more he did so. It got worse as it turned out once the door rang and in walked a lioness fuser. “Well Simon, a deal’s a deal.” she said, calling out for him as he walked through the door. “So, under my oath…”
“Merde…. why did… I wasn’t even serious….” Simon said to himself, hearing the voice and immediately knew from the context what that was about. Well, it was his music and he had to face it. “King… You actually came?”
“Queen..” Queen looked to the floor with shame. “And yes, you know it’s illegal to welsh on a bet. Let’s get this over with. What would you have me do… Master Simon…” she said, curtsying reluctantly.
“Nothing!” Simon facepalmed, half-irritated, half-disgusted. “I didn’t expect you’d actually go through with it… Look just go. I don’t care where vous go, just go.”
“Oh no high and mighty, you can’t rub it in my face by being the bigger man and disallowing the debt from being paid! Hell no!” Queen hissed at Simon.
“...I don’t have time for you.” Simon stopped arguing and just accepted the easier answer that King was nutty. “Please just, turn back into a guy when you can and just leave me alone. If you want to help, just, help me work on le RIDEs or flirt with customers to get them shopping if you really want to do something sexual.”
“That’s more like it!” Queen exclaimed, going outside and dancing provocatively at the entrance. Simon just rolled his eyes and got back to work.
Things seemed fine until her first customers of the day showed up. All men with recording equipment and tablets. As soon as they came in, Simon came out to greet them and found himself met with an oddity. The manliest looking of the men stepped forward and asked a damning questions that made Simon very curious. “Hey we’re sorry about the scheduling conflict that made us unable to show up yesterday. Is George here?”
“Is this a joke?” Simon raised an eyebrow looking the trio with rage. “It isn’t funny, you genderjacked him for sucking up to you just the other day. I gave her the day off to get her thoughts together.”
“Sir, we’ve yet to show up here. If someone has turned George into a woman, Manly Men Monthly claims no responsible. Hell we don’t even have the authority to add or subtract manpoints.” The manliest man seemed very offput. “It sounds like someone’s sabotaged your garage. I’m calling the police for you right now.”
“You do that, I’ll go find Georgette. If someone’s trying to sabotage my garage, I’m not sure they’ll stop with genderjacking my roommate” Simon nodded before fusing up with his RIDE to go looking for Georgette and bring her back to the garage. “Queen is my servant, ask her if you need anything. You feel free to look around and wait here for me.”
“Good idea, if someone’s imitating us to do these things to Cape Nord’s best and brightest, we want to help you.” The manliest man of the trio said scratching his intensive beard. “I assume you’re Simon, my name’s Peter. Just figured you should know that if we’re going to help.”
“We’ll have time for formal introductions later.” Simon replied before leaving and using his RIDE’s friends list to locate Georgette and escort her back to the garage incase the attacker was still around. ::Georgette, it’s Simon. the Manly Men Monthly crew showed up today claiming they couldn’t show up yesterday… it looks like we’ve been sabotaged. I’m heading to you know incase you’re attacked again. I want you at the garage till we have an idea of what’s going on.::
::....Interesting, okay I’m heading right for you. This is a little relieving, I might be able to change back if that’s the case:: Georgette responded.
The two met up in the middle of town and walked back to the garage fused for protection. “So… how’s your walk been?”
“I’m not sure, men keep ogling and groping me, but part of me likes the attention. Another part of me feels humiliated. I tried buying a beer to calm myself, they kept insisting I take a wine cooler and offered to let me pay in oral sex…”
“You are rather hot, especially since your RIDE is a cow, so there’s a lot of…” Simon stopped talking for a second.
“Jiggle? Yes I know. I tried having them reduced but the nano parlor said it was unethical…” Georgette sighed. “Do you any idea who would want to do this?”
“Non, maybe a competitor who didn’t want zat magazine to interview us. Or a prankster of some kind?” Simon asked.
“I don’t know myself.” Georgette answered, thinking about it as hard as she possibly could. “I don’t think a prankster would do it…”
They kept discussing it, but got no results or leads. Getting to their garage without incident to find the Cape Nord Police Department and Andromeda were present. “Hey I got your message, was going to respond, but when I saw the cops at your garage. I figured I’d just come over to see if you’re okay.” she said to Simon worried for him.
“I am, but my roommate was genderjacked by imposter magazine writers.” Simon replied to her.
“Moo…” Georgette said, clearly ticked.
“I’m relieved you aren’t hurt.” Andromeda declared, hugging Simon close. “Sorry about your friend though.”
The three entered the garage and a long conversation began. The gist of it was that there were no leads, no way to turn Georgette back for three years, and Georgette’s memories were unreliable as the imposters in her memories were all disguised, no sign of Georgette’s previous RIDE Bates, and finally no ownership of the garage.
“What do you mean we don’t own the garage?!?!” Simon exclaimed.
“Well, only George’s name was on the deed. Also according to the lease, you were paying him in RIDE maintenance lessons for rent.” One of the cops said to Simon.
“I told you we needed both of our names on it….” Simon looked to Georgette with a glare.
“You were a stowaway, you didn’t have any money!” Georgette reminded. “I’m not getting smuggled out of my garage by a poor frenchie.”
“If you were still a man I’d slap you.” Simon muttered before asking the officer. “Okay, can I just inherit the garage? Since only men can own property here?”
“No, it’ll be repossessed by the bank unless Georgette is married to a man within three months, but you have no legal power to make money off this business. If you want to buy the garage Simon, you’ll have to wait till it gets to be Cape Nord’s property. Georgette doesn’t have the legal right to sell it to you, it’s simply not hers to sell.” The officer explained. “I’m sorry.”
“But I was gender jacked!!!” Georgette tried to argue. “My mancard still has points.”
“Sorry, if the law made an exception for you, any woman could claim they were gender jacked.” The Officer apologized. “But if you do find any leads, we can at least throw the book at him. Here’s my v-card.” he said handing one of each to both former employees of Nord By Nord West.
Once the cops left the Nord By Nord West was labeled as “Female Property” and no one was allowed to enter.
“Tough break Simon. You can stay at my hotel till you and Georgette figure this out.” Andromeda offered.
“Thank you.” Simon bowed before Andromeda “Me and Georgette are ever so grateful. A big heart to go with that big rack. Oh what a truly terrific female. Do you not agree Georgette?”
“I guess…” Georgette sighed, rather bummed out about losing her job, sex, and home all at once.
After rummaging through Nord By Nord West and getting those of their belongings they were allowed to take, Simon, Georgette, and Queen all moved it into Andromeda’s hotel room. What she used in place of a home in lieu of her own ability to own a household. It wasn’t very big, but at least it could fit all four of them and provide them with shelter.
Though none of them had jobs except for Andromeda who didn’t get paid much, they all pulled their weight in a different way. Simon cooked for them, Queen served as a bodyguard, and Georgette kept researching legal loopholes to get her garage back. Though she wasn’t having much luck with it, so far it seemed marriage was the only way to reclaim her precious home. The idea of her marrying Simon did cross her mind, but the bloodhound tagged man laughed the idea off, not to mention the fact that he found it incredibly creepy. The attraction to her body was there, but not to her mind. The two had participated in casual sex a few times, but Simon just didn’t feel a romantic attraction to Georgette, but at the same time they found it good for relieving stress. Though Simon was doing this, he still continued to put the moves on Andromeda. In Cape Nord culture a man could have sex with as many different women as he wanted without it being a social taboo. Queen continued to frighten Simon however and he just could not find a way to get rid of her.
Two whole months had gone by and the investigation was turning fruitless. No matter where was looked or who was questioned the true mystery of the gender jacker was impossible to find. Not only that, but they didn’t have any idea of who Georgette could marry. They had set her up on various speed dates but no matter what she only got guys who treated her like a piece of a meat and had no intention of letting Simon work at Nord By Nord West. To help get his mind off of it he took Andromeda out for dinner when finally, a lead was head.
Simon and Andromeda were simply out for Italian one day enjoying one anothers company. Simon truly loved Andromeda. The girl was a science major studying Biology and RIDE Weaponry, despite not having a RIDE herself. She simply couldn’t afford one. One with such a deep passion for knowledge that it was a real shame she hadn’t been born into another polis. Andromeda had been in the mental of discussing a theory on qubitite earning the infatuation of Simon. “You know, you make me feel so much smarter when you talk.” He said to hear, starring longingly into her expansive cleavage, a gesture she seemed to actually find romantic. It was one of the things Simon liked about Cape Nord, women seem to like being objectified. Though it was true that Simon truly and deeply cared for Andromeda, he also loved not having taboos about sex.
But breasts would have to wait as he heard a ringing in his bloodhound ears. “I told you, one more month then Nord By Nord West is ours. Stop bringing it up.”
“Excuse me I think I know who gender jacked my garage’s owner.” Simon stood up heading for the source of the sound only to find it was the very same officer who partnered with Queen the same day as Simon’s manliness test. “....I heard that, and when my RIDE records it it will be important testimony. You gender jacked George didn’t you.”
“You turned my best friend into a woman, turnabout is fair play.” The officer said, next to him was a random man he never met before. Though Simon assumed it was one of the fake magazine writers.
“He lost fair and square!” Simon rebutted. “When I submit my memories as evidence you are going down!”
“Mmm well, let’s see you live through the night.” The officer responded, pointing a handgun at him under the table. “This is a silenced non-piercing bullet kid. When you get hit with one of these bullets, the skin repairs, but not the internal organ damage. Throwing off the cops.”
“Interesting, but you forgot one thing mon amie.” Simon said with a smirk, jumping onto the table and stabbing the crooked cop in the neck with his fork. “I’m Simon Bertrand!” he said triumphantly before running out of the restaurant, grabbing Andromeda on the way out.
“What happened?” Andromeda asked as patrons panicked fleeing from the officer with gun with fork stabbed into his neck screamed in terror.
“No time to explain, but I need to get to the CNPD!” Simon replied, jumping in his RIDE that was parked outside as it turned to skimmer mode. The corrupt cop on his tail with his own lion skimmer, firing randomly with his gun. Many of the shots missed due to fancy maneuvering, all except for the one that hit Andromeda in the lungs, and because of the flesh-non piercing effect, only Simon could tell she was hurt and fading fast. “Merde…” he said as he began weighing his options. He could have Godfrey fuse with Andromeda, making her male, but alive. After mulling it over, he looked towards his skimmer and gave to order.
A brave sacrifice, but one ultimately in vain, the corrupt cop, or Hans as he was named got out his secondary weapon. A plasma pistol, and with one well aimed shot. Godfrey suffered fatal damage, ending the escape and the RIDE’s life. “Mon dieu…” Simon said, jumping off the dead RIDE with Andromeda in hand to escape the explosion the RIDE was about to erupt in. “Godfrey, you too!?! No this is not happening….” Simon said aloud, Hans bearing down on him.
“End of the line Bertrand. You have no RIDE, no Garage, and no girl.” Hans smiled pointing the plasma pistol right at Simon’s head. “And best of all, no evidence if you’re dead.”
Simon looked straight into the gun, seemingly accepting his fate instantly. “I suppose you win..”
“I suppose I do.” Hans smiled, about to pull the trigger.
“Psyche!” Simon shouted, throwing a piece of Godfrey at the gun and managing to get to it first when it fell to the ground. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you!” Simon demanded, pointing the pistol at Hans.
“You’ve disarmed me, can’t claim self-defense.” Hans laughed raising his hands. “Sorry Simon, but it looks like I won in the end.”
Simon looked back to Godfrey’s remains and the dying andromeda before looking back to Hans. “I don’t give a shit!” As he was about to pull the trigger, several officers showed up and pointed their weapons at him.
“Simon Bertrand you are under arrest for assault on an armed officer. Put your weapons down and your hands on your head!” Yelled a voice through a megaphone.
“Are vous fucking with me!?!” Simon asked. “He genderjacked George Maxwell, killed my RIDE, and my girlfriend is already dying because of this guy. Shoot him!”
Simon was surrounded, and not willing to surrender. Too much harm had been done this night for him to want to. “Simon, we will not ask again. Put your weapon down and surrender.”
He still didn’t, keeping his sights purely on Hans. Simon wished he could have pulled the trigger, but he was knocked out by a pistol whip of a cop behind him and detained before he could.
When he woke up, he was in jail, sitting still, thinking about what just happened. It had been six hours before anyone finally talked to him. To his relief his first visitor, was Andromeda. “They found the bullet when they treated me for the RIDE Explosion burns, to make matters better. I was able to salvage Godfrey’s RI core. It should work with minor repairs.”
“What about Hans?” Simon asked. “They had to have determined his guilt from my memories..”
“Unfortunately he pulled some strings and had your memories dismissed as evidence..” Andromeda sighed. “I’m sorry… “
“Well. At least Vouz and Godfrey are okay.” Simon sighed in relief. “Hows Georgette?”
“She got desperate and married Hans… I’m sorry.” Andromeda looked down at the ground. “There’s others who wish to see you…Four to be exact...”
A man in a hyena fuser walked in shortly after Andromeda said that. “Hello Simon, my name is Gabriel Locke, and this is my counterpart Zedimuse. We’re marshalls. There’s some questions we’d like to ask you? Though the Cape Nord Government has disallowed your memories to be used as evidence. You were told about that right?”
“Oui oui” Simon nodded.
“Witness testimony says he may be guilty of Gender Jacking and Attempted Murder. Do you have any evidence of this?” Gabriel asked. “We suspect he might be involved in a scheme of attracting tourists to Cape Nord, getting them to buy property, and taking it from them by gender jacking them. Which would be an international crime.”
“He genderjacked the owner of my home and business to force her to marry him. He confessed this to me when he held me up with a gun. A gun which would match up to the bullet that was inside Andromeda.” Simon explained.
“Interesting, I’ll do some investigations. I offer you my gratitude. If he is successfully convicted you will go free.” Gabriel promised before leaving. “It may take awhile though, I’ve been asked to perform an investigation in Supernova. Apparently the urgency takes priority, but I don’t expect it to last more than four days.”
“Better zhan nothing.” Simon replied.
He waited days upon days, but Gabriel never returned nor did Zedimuse. Eventually Simon heard from the guards that he was believed to be dead and he never gave the lead on this case to anyone else. To make matters worse, Georgette came in a few times. Looking more beaten and bruised than the last, complaining of sexual assault, low wages from the business she owned, and even rape here and there. All these things were of course not that unacceptable to do to a woman in Cape Nord, so only Simon knew. It was in that moment he wished he had just pulled the trigger on Hans or married Georgette which he had the chance. It felt like everything was his fault. It seemed to him that if he just did at least one thing differently, Georgette wouldn’t be in so much pain. Andromeda showed up from time to time, claiming she was working on a parole deal. Considering Andromeda was a woman, there wasn’t much hope of that getting taken seriously.
Eventually Simon received a visitor he never anticipated. A man in a panda fuser and a business suit. “Hello, the name is Shyver. My employer wishes to make you a deal. He has some property up in Venars that he needs renting out and he would like to give it to you. I'm going to pull strings to pardon you, that is if you agree to sign a contract stating that you will run a few errands for him when the time is right.”
“Why would he do that for me?” Simon asked, perplexed by this offer.
“That’s classified, but the only hope you have of getting out of this cell.” Shyver informed keeping a cold and distanced voice. “You will keep 100% of the profits made from that property, but you will have to pay a small rent.”
“Alright, I’m in. Cape Nord no longer holds any meaning for me anymore.” Simon said, taking the contract and signing it.
“Glad to hear it Mr. Bertrand, we look forward to working with you.” Shyver smiled and proceeded to leave.
A week later Shyver showed up again in a shuttle to take Simon to his new garage in Venars. who took along with him Andromeda, leaving Queen and Georgette. Georgette was married and couldn’t leave Cape Nord without her husband’s consent. Simon really hoped that would change one day, but didn’t see it likely. Queen eventually got a job at a brothel, part of her seemed to legitimately enjoy being told what to do, Simon never questioned that.
“Hell of a place this is. It’s homely and professional like my old job, yet very french.” Simon said appraising the garage he gained in Shyver’s deal. Or Aristo which was who he worked for. The whole thing was sketchy, but better than being in Cape Nord.
“I wish Georgette could have seen this…” Andromeda smiled, holding Simon close.
“Me too, me too.” Simon confessed, rubbing up his arm nervously as he tried not to think of what was being done to her.
Shyver left surely after showing them around and helping open and name their store. They decided on Le Wrench Of Paris and life was never sweeter. Profits were up from working on Mini-RIDEs, almost enough to start justifying him working on RIDEs. Life was wonderful, he was even engaged to Andromeda, but when they had to break it off due to a job offer she accepted in Rodinia Simon found himself heartbroken. Profits began dwindling when Simon’s heart just wasn’t into it anymore, especially since the repaired Godfrey was given to Andromeda as a going away present. But the misery would eventually change when an employee known as Paul Reverbek joined Le Wrench Of Paris and warned Simon’s heart by being the perfect little brother once again restoring passion for life, leading to his transformation into the maiden known as Simone when he found his perfect partner Lucille. That's another story for another day, specifically, the events of Together We RIDE. So go read that, hint hint.
-Epilogue- Years later, January 156 AL
It was only a few days before her flight to Earth. The perfect time to make amends for her biggest regrets.
Simone traveled to a lab in Rodinia in her hardlight human disguise, looking like she used to before she Integrated, but after her fusion to Lucille for the first time. The skunk tagged psuedo human kept checking lab directories until finally she found the one where the person she was looking for worked.
“Andromeda my sweet?” Simone asked as she entered the lab her old ex worked in. “Do you remember me?”
Andromeda looked towards Simone’s direction, she had changed a lot, mostly in that she was a he using Simone’s old RIDE Godfrey. “No, should I?” Andromeda seemed far less cute now, more serious and focused. Yet still happy with himself, Simone imagined that after living in Cape Nord for so long it was likely that she found a powerful feeling of dominance from becoming male and giving orders instead of taking them.
“Once upon time we were engaged to be married.” Simone smiled, holding Andromeda close. "I never did stop loving you, I'd have checked on you sooner my Goddess turned God, but things have become quite busy."
“Simon… you’re a woman now!?!” Andromeda exclaimed.
“Yes, I am, and I notice that you are a man. Didn’t think you’d end up fusing with Godfrey, I intended him as more of a pet.” Simone grinned, looking him over. “You’re still very handsome though, though you seem different. Far more powerful and sure of yourself, you're not that fragile innocent flower from Cape Nord anymore.”
“I needed a RIDE and I was raised to see men as being superior, so I didn't give it too much tough… You don’t look bad yourself.” Andromeda felt a stiffening in his pants as he smiled over Simone’s splendid form. “..I know it’s been awhile, but if you wanted to, for old times sakes…”
“Andromeda… you took the words right out of my mouth, but first there’s something I want you to know… Something you deserve to know.” Simone said, holding Andromeda close and taking off her disguise. “I’m an Integrate now.. I have been for about a year. I could be a man, but being a woman is just so much more relaxing and elegant. I find it flows better with my energy, I never felt Gender Dysphoria before, I just... sampled something new and I liked the flavor.
Andromeda took off his own disguise of him and Godfrey in fuser form. “So am I… And like you, I could be a woman, but being a man makes me feel strong and in control.” he grinned wide and rubbed his face in Simone’s abundant cleavage as he rubbed down her back. “You’re even more woman than I ever was… which is good, It... suits you.”
“And you are more man, than I was..” Simone said with great anxiety as the two integrates undressed and proceeded to make love to one another. “Show me my elegance you powerful man."
After a few satisfying hours, Simone and Andromeda arose from the covers of a few labcoat with their minds blown. “Was zat your first time with an Integrate?”
“Yes… yours?” Andromeda looked dumbfounded as he stared into the ceiling.
“Yeah….” Simone’s eyes were wide from the ecstasy she had had.
The two turned to face each other and remembered the good times they had together. “You broke my heart when you moved here.”
“And I have always regretted that, I’ve never met a man, or woman that made me feel like you did. But I just couldn’t bring you to Rodinia. I’ve missed you everyday. Just seeing you again was such a rush.” Andromeda confessed. “...Even if you are a woman now, I’m not straight anymore, I like guys, Godfrey likes girls… so..”
“I’ve always been bi myself, but you know, there’s something that feels oddly right about you being a man…” Simone smiled. “I miss those massive tits of course, but.. I kind of like you this way.”
“You too, you’re just so exotic now, and I’ve always liked that about you when you were a man.” Andromeda was getting smitten all over again. "You were so different than everyone else, I mean, you still felt like you were the boss of me, can't blame you, it's Cape Nord. No point getting bent out of shape of it, but... Everyone else felt mundane and samey, you just seemed so... different.. and.. well even though you felt like you were the boss of me, I got the sense that you were only that way because you earned it you know?"
“And you’ve always been confident and strong, even if no one believed in you, it’s what I liked about you most as a woman.” Simone was too.
The two stared at each other’s naked integrate bodies, admiring one another, and embracing into a kiss. “I… want you back…” they said to one another in unison. “Good than have me!”
The two went at it once more, becoming highly addicted to one another’s Integrated bodies. They just didn’t realize how much more attracted they were to each other as integrates till they saw it.
Once they finished this second round they stared into each other’s eyes. “Andromeda.” Simone said rubbing down his chest. “I’m going to Earth to collect my family and bring them here. Once I come back, please come with me to an enclave..”
“I will” Andromeda smiled.
It took forever for Simone to want to leave, but she had to. Besides, she would be back someday.
There were two more destinations for her anyway. First, the place it all began Cape Nord, the manliest place on not-Earth. It was amazing how little the Nord By Nord West garage had changed, being almost exactly as Simone had been forced to leave it so many years ago. Nostalgia of the days when Cape Nord’s policies were good for her came flooding back. Along with the man who returns them, Hans. Playing it smart, Simone stood outside of the story and reached out for a commcode she hadn’t in a while. ::Georgette, it’s been awhile, but your buddy Simon’s here to save you, Simone now.::
::Took you long enough, the torture I endure under my husband is pure cruelty, but how are you going to do this? Cape Nord won’t let me stay gone if I’m married... which I am... and I can't really get a divorce unless he wants one....::
::Not if I take you to Sturmhaven:: Simone sent cheerfully.
::What?!?! They’re even worse.:: protested Georgette
::Only to a man, just stay there until Cape Nord loses interest in you, then you can go wherever you want.:: Simone advised.
::That’s actually incredibly smart, wish I thought of that.:: Georgette realized
::I need to take care of Hans first, I’m sending you some coordinates. Stay at them:: Simone had been looking forward to this a long time.
As soon as Simone got verification that Georgette was where she needed to be she marched right into her old garage, right up to Hans and gave him a stern look. “Hey do you remember trying to frame Simon Bertrand for attempted murder after you stole this place by genderjacking the owner?”
“Vaguely, but I'm not willing to talk about it. They had no evidence, and it's done for all I care. Now if you need anything else.. I'd be happy to service you.” Hans asked, smacking Simone on the rear. “That’s an interesting DE you have, how did you make it glow?”
“My glow is a secret, but, as for ways to service me.” Simone smirked as she used her integrate hacking abilities to force the lion male RIDE off of Hans and a female rabbit one onto him. “Turnabout is fair play, or did you not remember saying that?” she laughed, walking out to escort her friend somewhere she’d be safe.
The journey to Sturmhaven was long, but it would be worth it.
“So when did you go girl?” Georgette asked, looking over Simone’s form.
“Not that long ago, I found I actually like it better. You may too when you actually get to embrace it instead of get punished for it.” Simone responded
“I hope so, you’ve really saved my ass, after so many years with Hans I completely forgot what being a man is like, but I hope I can learn to enjoy being a woman instead of being scared of it. So much for our Man’s Paradise. Anyway I was beginning to think you’d never show up. In Venars they’re saying you’re dead.”
“Yet I’m alive, learn something new every day ma cherie.” Simone shrugged “Well Cape Nord was just proof that if something is too good to be true, it probably is.”
The two left the garage and the Polis, Simone taking Hans' male form as a disguise in order to more convincgly sneak out of Cape Nord. Afterwards Alyssa de-fused from Georgette to be used as a vehicle. "How did you transform into him like that?" Georgette asked, but an answer was never given.
Eventually they all landed in front of the Sturmhaven dome. “To think I’m voluntarily coming back here….” Simone said to herself as she opened the door in.
Two guards in female wolf fusers eye the two over. “Your friend looks very wounded, and appears to be wearing a PSA.” one of them said to Simone. “And you are an Integrate and should know better than to reveal yourself.”
“It was an emergency, this woman is a rescue from Cape Nord. She used to be a man and was gender jacked than abused. Please, teach her to enjoy her womanhood instead of fear it.” Simone pretended to beg.
“Is this true?” The guard asked Georgette
“She’s a WHAT!?!” Georgette exclaimed, but changed her tune when Simone sent her the exact line the guards would have wanted to hear. “Yes, I tire of being taught to despise myself, when my body feels so good for it is a woman’s body.”
One of the guards shook her head and both of them grabbed her by her shoulders to guide her in. “You’ve come to the right place sister, we will heal you of man’s wounds and feed you a nice warm meal. You aren’t a servant to men anymore.. Thank you sister Integrate.” one of them said to Simone.
“Thank you, for being so helpful to this wary one.” Simone bowed, feigning respect. “I must retreat into the desert now.”
“Fare thy well sister.” The guard responded.
“...It’s all about knowing how to talk to people.” Simone said to herself as she flew back to the hotel Shyver has checked them into while they waited for the space shuttle to Earth.
“Did you finish your errands?” Shyver asked Simone upon her return to their room.
“Yes, and someday I may trust you enough to tell you what they are…” Simone said plainly, departing to bed after a long day of long flights. Her and Lucille both hoped to dream of Rodinia.